3/10
From TOS to POS, Part Duh.... OR.... "I AM Your Daddy, and This Isn't Trek''
21 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
You get three stars for the fine production values, and Chris Pine's acting, and that's it!

So, JJ Abrahms was on 'The Daily Show' on 13 May. He made a number of comments that brought back to me why his first Trek directorial effort was so infuriating for me. And why, thank god, I had no intention of giving Paramount Pictures any money for any more of Abrahms' drek. Seems ole JJ didn't like Trek when he was younger. He couldn't get into it. Too many ideas, it would seem. It was 'too static' because 'they didn't have the money to do anything'. But, 'we have a little bit more money to do things.' He did go on to say that he later watched all the episodes and 'got into it', whatever that means. Probably the paycheque from Paramount, and their publicity department's talking points helped.

It should be said that this film is a much better movie than the 2009 film. It is more kinetic, with finer performances from the principle cast. Chris Pine is a fantastic actor, but he is only working with a very few characteristics of Shatner's richer portrayal. But this is still not a Trek film. It is a thin pastiche of vignettes from TWOK with just a sprinkling of references from the TOS episode "Space Seed" to ground it in continuity. Lack of continuity with the almost 1000 filmed episodes of Trek that preceded it continues to be its downfall.

It would appear that Mr. Abrahms and his writers never read Gene Roddenberry's "Making of Star Trek". There, they would have found that the Enterprise was built in orbit, with component parts being built in San Francisco, not in Iowa. It never lands (let alone submerges). Spock mates every 7 years, and was betrothed at birth to T'Pring- the Spock- Uhura relationship is preposterous. Spock served on the Enterprise for 13 years under Christopher Pike before Kirk took command of the ship. And Starfleet is an almost pure exploratory body, not the paramilitary galactic force that Abrahms envisages. The current batch of uniforms, complete with high-brimmed hats, are straight out of NAZI Germany. Star Trek never introduced any hats as parts of their uniforms. Only ST:E had baseball caps to make them more contemporary with current NASA wear.

Thanks to one episode of ST:E, we also know that the 23rd Century Klingons whom Kirk and Co. lock horns with, have been genetically altered to look more human. Oooops.

The entire alternate timeline that Abrahms uses to retell an already familiar story is blown completely out of the water by the TAS episode "Yesteryear" as well as the already established Temporal Police from the Federation's distant future.

This is not a Star Trek film. While a finely crafted, fast-moving film that races over its plot-holes (artificial gravity going wonky due to power fluctuations? Just turn it off!), the film works more as Abrahms audition for the role of Star Wars director than any capturing of the "spirit of Trek" that Abrahms declares as his creative intention. Don't look for JJ to helm a third Trek- he passed the Lucas audition and has got the gig he really wanted. How about bringing in Ron Moore, J. Michael Strazinski, or Joss Weadon for any future film?

Paramount's Publicity Department was in overdrive for the two weeks prior to the film's release, and the week after or so. All the principle cast members, as well as Abrahms himself have been blitzing the American late-night infomercials (er, talk shows). They even managed an infomercial on their own on both the Canadian and American History Channels. A two-hour long infomercial, where Abrahms stated that he deliberately set out to not make a film for Trek lovers, but a film for movie lovers. Its all about bums in seats, you see.

This is he end of Part One of this reiew. Apparently, I can only use 1000 words. Sorry, IMDb, I have too much to say....MTC!!!!
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