Review of Machete Kills

Machete Kills (2013)
3/10
sorry, this one doesn't quite cut it
26 December 2013
Robert Rodriguez has made some very good movies, but this flick, much like it's predecessor Machete, is not one of them. Lots of stars poking their faces into the screen, but there's nothing to hold the thing together. This film is supposed to be like one of the cult films that Tarantino and Rodriguez admired from the 70s and 80s; flicks that were wild, over the top and fun to watch because they took themselves seriously. Obviously this film doesn't take itself seriously and, much like Machete, it runs on wild action, testosterone-charged dialogue and sappy one-liners. Where Tarantino had some success with parodies of cult flicks like Kill Bill and From Dusk Till Dawn, there was a thread of a story that held these films together and some interesting characters and dialogue to boot.

Danny Trejo came to recognition in films because he looks like a stereotypical gangster, a part he played often, but only a bit-part, and aside from looking scary he has no real appeal on the screen. He can't carry the film, and neither can the dialogue or action. The film ends up being a non-stop run of macho one-liners, violent death scenes, and serial expletives that begin to bore 20 minutes into the film. While all of these are meant as dark humor, there's nothing really funny in the whole film. The film ended with a sort of "trailer" for the next installment which, unfortunately, is apparently nearly ready for release. I won't watch that one.
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