4/10
Don't know why this is so popular
25 January 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Many moons ago, I began to see a reoccurring theme on the net: one that spoke of something called "Rosario+Vampire". Every other day I'd find someone had posted something online about it, so I decided to check it out.

It's a harem anime. Well, one of my favorite anime of all time is a harem anime, so I gave it a chance.

The premise is some teenage boy gets mixed up and enrolls in a school for monsters who need to be taught how to coexist with humans. Not sure how one makes a four-year curriculum out of that, but I've seen shows work with far less. He meets a pink-haired vampire girl called Moka who is immediately enraptured by his human odor.

Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there, show. See, you can't really expect us to buy into your "love is the way you smell" nonsense. That's not how real feelings work.

So, the rest of the harem arrives soon after and begin competing for the guy's affection (even though it's pretty clear who's his favorite out of the lot): a overly horny succubus, a prepubescent witch, and a shy, forward and somewhat unnerving ice-creature named Mizore.

After this, the group move from boring plot to boring plot, some of which are used for gratuitous fan service and others actually somewhat intriguing, such as curry that turns people into curry-zombies. Each episode has a fight in it that the show tries to joke about by telling us how many seconds each fight lasted.

Okay, have to stop you again, show. Simply pointing out your own failings isn't funny unless you have a punchline for them.

I really have nothing to say on any of the supporting cast in this series because I recall none of them. Okay, there is some flaming fox demon in the Season 1 finale. He was pretty badass, and he also came with a dark tale about prejudice, totalitarianism and the effects of keeping cultures separate. THAT was awesome.

Alas, things do not stay awesome for our male lead when we see Moka's younger sister arrive in season 2. Her goal is to see Moka go from pink-haired mild-mannered student to no-nonsense authoritative vampire permanently. Yeah, she's pretty annoying.

You may have noticed that I only used two characters' names and labeled the rest by their role or monster types. This is because I find these characters to be so utterly forgettable. I remember Mizore because she was the only one out of all of them who was actually rather complex in struggling with her anti-social tendencies as well as being a bit suicidal when we first meet her. I remember Moka's name because she's the character in the title card and the only one who has any decent action scenes. She's still pretty bland, though.

This is your clichéd harem anime: uninteresting characters, slow pacing, and WAY too much fan service. I never get the vibe that any of these girls have legitimate feelings for our weak-boned male lead and the only reason they hang around him is because he's got that human stench about him. And, worst of all, the episodes are just so BORING. They all feel like they were made as filler for a better show. There's little conflict in each one and most of it revolves around Blandness's personal harem finding new ways to be gratuitously horny. Even the episode names are boring: "Security Committee and a Vampire", "Tsukune and a Vampire". Oh yeah, THAT'S what Blandness's name is...

I would've given the show a 5 out of 10 if it had made me feel indifferent about itself. However, its blatant objectification of its female characters leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. While I do recommend the two episodes I just mentioned, as they manage to deliver a pretty solid plot and some hardcore monster-vs-monster action, give the rest a miss. They're all pretty boring.
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