3/10
Weakest of the Beach Parties
27 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Let me start by saying that I do love the 'beach party' genre, brief as it was. Honestly though, I prefer the later films, featuring Deborah Walley and Tommy Kirk, and Muscle Beach Party is one that really shows the clumsiness of the earlier entries in the series.

Beach Party wasn't that great, but it was a lot better than Muscle Beach Party manages; the first film had a pretty winning group brought together and kept things light, but Muscle inexplicably removes von Zipper and his bikers, substituting musclemen instead who, for a filmsy reason, are enemies to the surfers. Except only a small group of them. You have Don Rickles looking like he doesn't know what he's doing there, Candy Johnson who saves the day with her energetic dancing (but AIP were too cheap to spring for a speaking part, which makes her seem affected), and a Peter Lupus very new to acting. The Del-Tones have a unique part as a band that actually lingers, instead of popping up for a single number and never being seen again, and the lead has a speaking role. Shame they couldn't spring for one for Candy.

Then you have Frankie and Annette, playing Frankie and Dee-Dee again. But you have to wonder why Dee-Dee even came to the beach; she's such a wet blanket, there's literally no way anyone would stay with her. The script fails both leads and makes fickle Julie seem like the most compelling and fun member of the cast, which of course is disappointing since she gets treated the worst. Frankie reflects a passion perhaps a bit naive but respectable enough, and Dee-Dee fails to support him, then sings a song about how a boy needs a girl whom she fails to realise is exactly what she isn't. The rest of the gang aren't any better, and whenever they interact with the two, it smacks of 'because the script said so', as none of them are allowed to have even the slightest personality that they showed in most all of the other films.

Muscle tries to get serious and ends up depressing, because it does that right when it shouldn't and ends up ruining the lighthearted feel and the jokes that tried to follow the attempts at seriousness. The jokes aren't really all that funny though, especially in comparison to the other films in the series, and overall there are just too many clumsy scenes that go on for far too long and make almost everyone involved look terrible. The only characters who give any joy at all are Candy, with her exuberant (though curiously silent) dancing and Peter Lorre, who is a pleasure to see even in the microscopic cameo he's given.

If you really feel you have to see all of the beach party films, this is definitely not where to start. Turn it on and tune out, because nothing amounts to anything -- while that may be true of the other films too, they're at least a fun ride. This one, like the prolonged fight sequence that brings it to its end, simply overstays its welcome and doesn't seem to have an idea that it's lingering awkwardly and in a way that isn't very entertaining.
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