Crossbones (2014)
3/10
Did I watch a different show than other reviewers?
31 May 2014
I must have been watching a different show than other reviewers, because I cannot figure out the incredibly glowing reviews. Within the first 3 minutes of the show starting, my first thought was "wow, this looks like a B-movie" and then a fight scene started between 2 ships. I was shocked at how badly choreographed and even more - how poorly acted the fight scene was. It honestly looked like the director grabbed a bunch of people from around his neighborhood to dress up and swing swords just so he's have enough 'pirates' in the scene.

The sets are big, but look like they were taken out of Disney's 'Hook' (Robin Williams version). Too overly made up and too fake looking. They just went a bit far with set decorating and coloring... to the point they look like stage props. I was sad. Black Sails falters itself sometimes, but at least it's sets and props LOOK realistic. Black Sails sets are 'muddied up' enough to look realistically used and dirty and the props don't look like they came off of a Disneyland stage set.

The acting was great from 2 of the actors: Malkovich as Black Beard, and Richard Coyle as Tom Lowe, the spy sent to kill him. The other immediate supporting cast was OK at best. But it is the rest of the background cast that is simply bad. I'm sorry, but seeing old fat guys who look like they were mowing the lawn on a riding mower next door just the day before, thrown into the mix as either pirates or English Red-Coats is simply bad. At least Black Sails puts together a believable looking cast from top to bottom. Crossbones just looked bad in that it simply looks over-thought and over-designed.

The storyline is OK... but if it weren't for Richard Coyle's acting, it would have fallen apart quickly with another actor. He worked hard with the limited resources he had when it came to a story. Malkovich is a great actor and I've always loved his stuff, but this one takes him out of a comfort zone and doesn't showcase him as well as it should. He always plays 'crazy' well in films, but the writing in this show falls short of his acting chops.

I hope the series gets better than the premier, otherwise it's going to be like watching a bad Disney movie.
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