Review of Body Slam

Body Slam (1986)
5/10
Hmmm yeah
4 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I missed the first couple minutes of this movie, so if there was ever an explanation of why a little girl (Kellie Martin, who's exactly a week older than me) is allowed to accompany a group of pro wrestlers and rock stars on an RV tour of America, well I missed it. Presumably she was present to make the movie more appealing to little girls.... doubt that worked out super well, but she's the oddly cynical and realistic member of this motley 80s crew.

The movie's plot seems to concern a sleazy manager (TV star Dirk Benedict) in his efforts to help a pair of wrestlers (Roddy Piper and Sam Fatu) win a championship and to win the heart of an intelligent rich girl (Tanya Roberts). Benedict plays it so broad, there's little room for whatever appeal is supposed to develop.

But the film is a blast, at least for those who grew up in the 80s and enjoyed pro wrestling, or perhaps for people keen to see some really cheezy stuff from the period. Benedict's character, a sociopathic loser, strikes gold by combining his clients out of sheer desperation, organizing a rock 'n rasslin' tour that sells out gymnasiums across the country. The sequences showing local talent (and announcers) taking on Piper and Fatu are hilariously banal, if such a thing is possible.

"Captain" Lou Albano (who, besides making this movie, also briefly managed Cyndi Lauper in the 80s and appeared on the legendary "Super Mario Bros. Super Show!" as Mario) is the villainous manager out to ruin Piper's career and put little Kellie Martin in the orphanage. At the film's climax, Piper and Fatu must battle Albano's fearsome "Cannibal Brothers", while Albano tosses Dirk Benedict (and, kid you not, Billy Barty) around at ringside for good measure. A gallery of fading but beloved faces emerges to see the title bout, including Ric Flair, Bruno Sammartino and "Classy" Fred Blassie (who, true to form, roots for the Cannibals).

The music, provided by a group called "Kicks" who later change their name to "Kick", is so poor that it's hard to believe somebody (perhaps stuntman turned director Hal Needham) wasn't having a joke with it. Still, I can remember a time in the 80s when this type of thing was marginally acceptable, if not cool. There's a great scene where Benedict's character is supposed to be talking to a reporter from Rolling Stone, and he says he changed their name to "Kick" because, "Who ever heard of the Whos?" To which the reporter responds, "how about the Beatles?" Now, I wanted to single this scene out because, first of all it's the only intentionally funny scene in the film. Secondly, it gives a good capsule description of this movie's universe. The reporter is an ostensibly "real" person, much like the little girl. Everyone else, the wrestlers and rock stars and particularly Benedict, are running around as if they are in some kind of psychotic delusion; or, perhaps more accurately, they are playing a 10 year old boy's version of adults. Which is to say, psychopaths. Come on, you gotta love this movie!
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