Review of The Roost

The Roost (2005)
1/10
Dull, dull, dull
11 August 2015
It's amazing how many people have jumped on the Ti West bandwagon. Reminds me of the story about the emperor's new clothes. This is by no means a good movie, nor is it particularly watchable. The direction is lazy, the premise patently stupid, and it's basically the kind of film where nothing really happens. Ever. There's a predictably stupid ending too, and you'll expect it.

The framing show idea was cute, but it unfortunately also suffers from lasting far too long for what it is. It's like he's never seen a television show before; even in the 60s, those sequences did not take that long and did not drag that long.

The whole experience feels like someone who has tried to make a film despite never having seen one, only heard basically what it's supposed to be like. As a result, it feels like it goes on for hours at a time, because the pacing is terrible, the acting is unexceptional, the sound engineering is nonexistent -- actors mumble all the time, but the sound effects and music are top volume -- and overall it's something that can't even be enjoyed as a sort of homage. But it's not even that. It's basically just a terrible movie from the late 60s/early 70s, except it was made now. Kind of like House of the Devil.

The Innkeepers is so far the only Ti West anything that has been watchable, and it really wasn't that great. Certainly not excellent enough to justify the blind adoration so many seem to have for him in reviews and website comments. But this one? This was just boring. I couldn't even deal with having it on as background noise, it actually just bored the bejeezus out of me no matter what. And at the end of the day, if your horror movie is boring above all, you have pretty disastrously failed in that genre.
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