The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996): Dir: Steve Barron / Cast: Martin Landau, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Rob Schneider, Bebe Neuwirth, Udo Kier: A bad film with great production values where filmmakers went on an adventure and created a film unfit for children. Lackluster live version of Disney classic with Martin Landau as Gepetto who carves a wooden puppet out of a tree. He is surprised when his wooden puppet comes to life but perhaps he should check his alcohol level. Pinocchio's nose grows when he tells a lie and he gets schemed into a circus where all of the boys are turned into donkeys. One wonders if Steve Barron's nose grew when he directed the film. He certainly didn't follow the classic tale to total degree. Jiminy Cricket is replaced by some other insect, which is not explained and certainly not accepted. Landau makes for a fine Gepetto whose dream of fatherhood becomes a reality. Jonathan Taylor Thomas voices the wooden puppet with appeal and appears briefly as the real Pinocchio. Rob Schneider and Bebe Neuwirth play two pathetic villains in what can only be described as a bad joke on them. Udo Kier plays a character named Lorenzini who is apparently a new character, as if this version wasn't screwed up enough as it is. Pointless live version isn't totally faithful to the classic but the visual attempt is there. Perhaps the script should substitute as fire wood. Score: 2 / 10
Review of The Adventures of Pinocchio
