Review of Zorro

Zorro (1990–1993)
4/10
This is Not So Good
9 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I can't believe the other reviews I've read. Maybe they're talking about the first season, before the move to Family Channel and the total cast revamp. But the Family Channel version of this series, "Zorro" leaves a lot to be desired. It has some good points, that's why it's 4 stars instead of 1 star, but overall it is pretty bad.

The main issue with this version is its swash doesn't buckle. Zorro is associated with terrific sword fights, and overall action. The version lacks both. The sword fights are poorly choreographed. Overall, the fights and chases are poorly done. Soldiers often trot after Zorro with their hands at their sides, not looking like they're running. Then Zorro steps aside so soldiers odd running from two directions run into each other.

For some odd reason the beginning of the series, when Don Diego first becomes Zorro, is saved for the middle of season 1. The becoming Zorro part is pretty boring. But the wrapper story, Zorro supposedly killed falling off his horse, wraps up with some nice scenes, especially when Zorro takes the place of a dummy used to lay in for dead Zorro at his funeral. For a moment, there was hope for the series.

The opening theme is weak. It's not Zorro music. It sounds like 80's techno music.

The kid who plays Felipe is an awful actor. He often smirks or even smiles when he's supposed to be reporting dire news, or when he's in a sad or dangerous situation. For some odd reason, he's often used as an extra too. For example, in one episode the actor appeared as a tax delinquent farmer: he wore a cheesy mustache for that "role". In the same episode he was, while supposedly off to get Don Alejandro, also a towns person throwing rocks from the roof. The towns people walk on the roof without problem, but Zorro constantly stumbles and has to walk carefully on the same roof. Old ladies, old men" they maneuver more easily on a roof than Zorro maneuvers.

Time and distance are oddly distorted. In one of the first episodes Felipe rides off to get Don Alehandro after Don Diego is arrested. Felipe rides off in a wagon. Less than a minute later Diego arrives in the cell. He looks out the cell window to see Felipe and Don Alejandro riding into Los Angeles on horses. Felipe rode home, told DA what was going on, traded the wagon for a horse, and rode back to Los Angeles in less than a minute.

This Zorro tries to be more like batman, Zorro is always conducting scientific experiments. He builds various contraptions and devices which he uses in his adventures. But he uses them in odd ways. In one episode he makes a scope with special lenses that see in less colors, but also with less required light. He uses the night vision scope to see food foot prints on a roof. WHAT? Episodes frequently have big mistakes. For example, in one episode Don Diego compares a note sent by the new Padre of the mission with a note sent by a fake Padre. The note from the real Padre is a note about a new species of bird Diego discovered. The note from the fake Padre is supposedly about demanding a higher offering from the land owners. Diego notes the handwriting is not the same on the two letters supposedly sent by the same Padre. But when the camera pans to the letters, although the handwriting is different, both letters are the same: the letter about the birds.

This is a disappointing Zorro series.
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