Triple 9 (2016)
5/10
Well, that was certainly a movie that I watched
21 February 2016
All the signs were good for this movie. I like heist movies, and I couldn't imagine being bored by one, at least. I kind of liked the director's previous movie, Lawless, though it wasn't without flaws. But most of all, there's that cast: Chiwetel Ejiofor, Anthony Mackie, Daryll off of The Walking Dead, that guy from Breaking Bad, Clifton Collins Jr sleazing it up, Woody Harrelson hamming it up, and Kate Winslet vamping it up.

Here's a note for any would-be directors out there: if you manage to get a stellar cast, you might want to try giving them something to do. Here, everyone gets exactly one characteristic, so Ejiofor is mopey, Mackie is angry, Collins is sleazy (obviously) and Woody Harrelson is off in his own little world, cheerfully ignoring everyone else.

None of them gets time to really develop a character, and because there are so many people competing for screen time, none of them even gets that long to do his thing before we're off to someone else. The editing is choppy, and when Winslet isn't on screen, most of the movie consists of men growling incomprehensibly at each other. The heist scenes are well-executed, but the linking scenes are insufferably dull.

That problem isn't helped by some baffling narrative choices. Norman Reedus is an effortlessly charismatic screen presence, but all his scenes here are shot inside vehicles. I'm not joking - I can't remember if he even gets to stand up. And then there's poor old Casey Affleck, a dreary bore who's inexplicably made the centre of attention instead of much more interesting actors. Come to think of it, that was my main complaint about Lawless, too, that the action concentrated on the most boring character.

Triple Nine isn't hateful, and it isn't hopeless. The heist scenes do work well, and Vampy Winslet is fun, but there's way too much gunk to plough through in order to reach the good bits.
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