Exit to Eden (1994)
2/10
The world's first sadomasochistic buddy-buddy-cop comedy-crime-thriller. And hopefully also the last.
14 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I have never read Anne Rice's novel "Exit to Eden"- indeed, until I saw this film I had never heard of it- but I understand that it is an erotic love story set against the background of the world of sadomasochism. The film-makers took Rice's basic plot and turned it into a comedy, although still set against the background of the world of sadomasochism, and added a plot line about two cops in pursuit of two diamond thieves, thereby creating the world's first sadomasochistic buddy-buddy-cop comedy-crime-thriller.

Elliott Slater, a professional photographer, books into Eden, an island holiday resort catering for sadomasochists. Unknown to him, he has been followed to the island by Omar and Nina, two ruthless criminals who are trying to retrieve the film from Elliott's camera- this was in the pre-digital era- which contains a shot which could identify Omar as one of the participants in a jewel heist. Also on the island are the two bumbling Los Angeles cops, Fred and Sheila. Another strand to the plot concerns the growing romance between Elliott and the resort's resident dominatrix, Mistress Lisa, even though the strict etiquette of her profession means that she is not supposed to fall in love with her clients. Sheila also finds romance at the end of the film when a handsome young stud, who also turns out to be a company Chief Executive, falls for her.

Back in 1994 the idea for this film might have seemed like a good one, at least to the film-makers. It wasn't. The film proved a flop, both critically and financially. Dan Aykroyd, who at his best can be a very good actor, was nominated for a "Worst Supporting Actor" Razzie for his portrayal of Fred, and Rosie O'Donnell, as Sheila, won "Worst Supporting Actress". O'Donnell, who is hardly Hollywood's greatest glamour-puss, spends much of the running-time dressed in skimpy bondage attire, even though she has to compete with equally scantily dressed co-stars as attractive as Dana Delany and the gorgeous supermodel Iman. There should be a special Razzie for "Actress Most in Need of Less Revealing Clothing".

Despite her good looks, Delany is not commanding enough to suggest that her character could make a career as a dominatrix, and Iman does little to counteract the widely held view that supermodels are generally ill- advised to exchange the catwalk for the film set. Several other top models were attempting to break into acting during the nineties, but Iman is no better an actress than the likes of Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell and Elle Macpherson. Indeed, she is probably rather worse, which is saying something. She comes across as the least menacing criminal I have ever seen. She can't even sneeze convincingly. As for Paul Mercutio- well, I really can't remember much about his performance. And I only saw the film yesterday.

Dodgy acting is not the only problem with this film. It is supposed to be a comedy, but it is completely unfunny; I can't think of a single situation or line of dialogue which made we want to laugh with the actors as opposed to laughing at them. It is no classic of erotica, but there is enough suggestive dialogue and enough bare flesh on display to ensure it got an "18" rating, something unusual for a comedy. I felt that this was a mistake on the part of the film-makers. No film about sexual sadomasochism is ever going to be suitable for the family audience, but that "18" certificate means that it also excluded the sniggering adolescent audience, who are the only demographic who might find it in any way amusing. There may be some people who retain the sniggering adolescent mentality well after their eighteenth birthday, but there were evidently not enough of them to save the film from its well-deserved box-office failure.

I was surprised to learn that this rubbish was directed by Garry Marshall, who had previously made romantic comedies and dramas as good as "Overboard", "Pretty Woman" and "Frankie and Johnny". "Exit to Eden" may be the world's first sadomasochistic buddy-buddy-cop comedy-crime- thriller. Let's hope it is also the last. 2/10
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