Ten Inch Hero (2007)
2/10
Painfully Dull and Inept
27 July 2016
I really wanted to like this film as a blind rental, but it fails at almost every turn to be the type of film it aspires to be.

10-IH is obviously one of those small-scale genre films that indie startup companies use as their flagship productions that attract well-meaning B-list veterans who enjoy helping up-and-comers out and it shows. The characters are barely defined, hardly eccentric (one gag in the film is that "normal people need not apply" but none of the characters besides the punk griller are weird in any way), and the script traipses through the A, B, C, and D plots with an almost casual disregard for gravitas. Each character has a single (hardly crippling) problem to overcome and one sequence involves 3 of them going on a road trip despite the fact that they all seem to work every single day with no replacements.

It reminds me in many ways of EMPIRE RECORDS: a formulaic retread of character-driven workplace comedies like CLERKS and WAITING... but with prepackaged stock characters, signature visual gags, and expository dialogue to serve as dramatic reveal; it wants to be poignant and make a statement, but with all the sophistication of a 6th-grader. The camera work is functional,the production design non-existent, and the plot devices textbook: you can practically see the numbers under the paint. Added to which, the soundtrack repeats the same 2 songs that were originally produced for the film because they had no budget for pre-existing music, and that grates. And the original score plays home the emotional beats sincerely to the point of sentimentality.

10-INCH HERO is almost a parody of the kind of film it wants to be, and despite some nudity and profanity, is virtually PG in its tone. Take the nudity and language out and it would be the kind of film that Family Values production companies make when they try to ape mainstream movies.
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