Review of Batman Returns

5/10
Gross and dumb
22 August 2016
I don't think I've seen this all the way through since it was in theaters when I was 13. I don't remember liking it much then, but I've long been thinking of re-watching it. It's developed a cult because of its excessive weirdness. It is that excessive weirdness that keeps it watchable. That, the awesome production design, Danny Elfman's score, and Christopher Walken. Without those elements, though, honestly, I don't know that this is all that much better than Batman & Robin (I'm not about to re-watch that one, but I did pick up Batman Forever on Blu Ray very cheap along with this - probably both will be a waste of money). If nothing else, it certainly plants a lot of the seeds that would grow into the monstrosity that was B&R. The script here is just awful, first and foremost. It's all just a mess, with all kinds of nutty crap thrown on the screen for little to no reason. It's terribly grotesque. Penguin isn't a rich man in a tuxedo, he's a mutant, and Catwoman is a zombie. It has a really dirty sexual streak. It gets really gross watching Danny DeVito perv all over everyone. It's chock full of terrible one-liners that sound awful even coming out of Michelle Pfeiffer. Batman is more or less forgotten for most of the film. Even when it's being aggressively weird, it's mostly boring. Walken really livens up the film whenever he appears - his murder of Selina Kyle is by far the highlight of the film. It's a shame he disappears for a long stretch in the second half. The first Burton Batman holds up pretty well. This one, not so much.
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