Review of Darling

Darling (II) (2015)
1/10
No
26 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This movie sucks. Flat out. It's a shame to think about how much time and effort was put into this complete miscalculation of a movie. I understand it's a low budget film, but if you're trying to make a movie that catches peoples' attention and gets them wanting more, you have to realize that a movie like this is not the way to do it.

Borrowing heavily from Roman Polanski's "Repulsion," this "film" focuses on Darling, a girl with no name that's hired to watch over a giant, mysterious apartment while the owners leave town. Apparently some supernatural stuff happened in the apartment and it's caused multiple other apartment-watching girls from the past to commit suicide.

So yeah, of course she takes that job, it seems like it has a good reputation.

I swear, I watched this movie with subtitles on (as I do with all movies) and the caption "Eerie music playing" showed up like ten times. This movie was hilarious in its attempt to be tense and scary, when in reality it is an extremely mundane and unbelievably boring film. The main actress (a beautiful woman, I'll give her that) blankly stares her way through what feels like six hours, and this is a 78 minute film. The director clearly intended her to be a character that's as mysterious as the setting, but when she is given no character, barely speaks a word and stares into the camera for a grand total of fifty-five minutes, there is no takeaway there. The movie hopes that the musical score will make you feel scared and uneasy, but nothing happens in the apartment that would warrant an uneasy feeling. Through static, uninspired camera compositions, you don't feel like something scary is about to happen; you actually feel like this is the worst student film that ever won Best Prize at the high school film festival.

I was in utter awe at how far they dropped the ball on this one. There's even a completely pointless subplot where the main girl stalks a man and goes on a date with him only for it to end horribly wrong but at that point during the movie, I was already clocked out and asking for my money back, even though I rented this from a library. When the "twist" is revealed that she's actually just an insane girl, it's not a surprise because you already knew that from her staring at everything for minutes at a time!

Please, stay away from this movie. It's a practice in endurance, and it is not an easy one. If you watch it just for the cute actress, fine, do that. She's cute. But if you're expecting a well-made thrill-ride with genuine horror and tension, you're better off watching "Halloweentown" for that.

P.S- there's an inkling of a great idea near the end where Darling opens "the room," which is the room that the homeowner told her to stay away from at all costs at the beginning of the film, but that, of course, goes absolutely nowhere and I hate this movie so much.
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