This, one of the Bottom 3 films of all time, was screened last week in New York, where it likely made more money than in its original theatrical run.
I spent about two-thirds of the film's run time shouting " What is this god-damned movie even about? " For its final third, I didn't care what it was about, I just wanted it to end. Seriously, I couldn't even tell you what genre this film could be classified as, nor could I tell you what the plot is about.
Apparently, filmed in a matter of days, on a budget of only a few thousand dollars, and screened only a couple of times in El Paso ( where it was filmed ) , and then lost for decades, until its rediscovery by Mystery Science Theatre 3000, this is seriously one of the worst, most excruciatingly boring films ever made. It's barely even mockable, let alone reviewable. The music score consists of competing sax, and ivories being tickled in the most obtuse, out of place fashion, seemingly intended for some other movie, and it's used throughout almost every scene. Most times I've heard the title/ lead character's name spoken, it's MAN-os, but in the dialogue in the film, it's pronounced like MAH-nos. However his name is correctly pronounced, I kept waiting for his dog to bite him. No such luck.
A middle aged nuclear family ( a grumpy old man in ridiculously over-sized trousers, his whiny, nagging wife, and their young daughter, who serves absolutely no purpose in the plot of film ) are driving in the desert ( for the first nine minutes of this movie ) and lose their way. They babble about the weather, are stopped about a broken taillight by a cop with nothing else to do, who later hassles a young couple kissing in a parked car ( and the visible guy holding the clapperboard ) on the roadside. The female half of this couple is clearly bored, as she repeatedly delivers her lines while looking directly into the camera. Was this nine minutes long scene really necessary in setting up the plot of this movie?
The family comes across some type of home, inhabited by Torgo, a 25 years old man in old age make-up ( because that always works so well ) , hobbling around, who repeats almost every line of dialogue twice. After their car won't start, they're stuck in this desert overnight, where slightly weird, but mostly just interminably boring, things happen. Torgo tells them " The Master " is dead, but eventually, a hidden, sort of Satanic-looking room is found, where " The Master " is shown apparently alive after all. He's a John Astin lookalike in black robe with red hands, acting grandiose, in front of a group of women, who do little more than sit around and talk for several scenes, before a catfight erupts. The family from the first half disappears for most of this second half, while the John Astin clone and his six wives do ... stuff, ... possibly killing Torgo, because yeah, sure, of course they do.
The kissing couple appear again, at night. It looks like they're parked next to a gas station, judging by the lighting equipment reflected on their car.
About an hour in, it's revealed the father from the first half has a gun... ( ! ) He's been armed for this entire time? He shoots ( shoots at? ) The Master, then for some reason, a lesbian couple is introduced in the last scene, and it appears as though the entire plot is starting again, as this pair of girls get lost, with writer/ director/ producer/ star Harold Warren standing in for Torgo.
A lame joke in the closing credits reads, " The end? "
Yes, it is mercifully the end.
" Our sincere thanks to the city & county of El Paso for their cooperation " I bet they just LOVE having their name attached to this one.
I then shouted at the screen, " What? "
It even has 666 in its url!
I spent about two-thirds of the film's run time shouting " What is this god-damned movie even about? " For its final third, I didn't care what it was about, I just wanted it to end. Seriously, I couldn't even tell you what genre this film could be classified as, nor could I tell you what the plot is about.
Apparently, filmed in a matter of days, on a budget of only a few thousand dollars, and screened only a couple of times in El Paso ( where it was filmed ) , and then lost for decades, until its rediscovery by Mystery Science Theatre 3000, this is seriously one of the worst, most excruciatingly boring films ever made. It's barely even mockable, let alone reviewable. The music score consists of competing sax, and ivories being tickled in the most obtuse, out of place fashion, seemingly intended for some other movie, and it's used throughout almost every scene. Most times I've heard the title/ lead character's name spoken, it's MAN-os, but in the dialogue in the film, it's pronounced like MAH-nos. However his name is correctly pronounced, I kept waiting for his dog to bite him. No such luck.
A middle aged nuclear family ( a grumpy old man in ridiculously over-sized trousers, his whiny, nagging wife, and their young daughter, who serves absolutely no purpose in the plot of film ) are driving in the desert ( for the first nine minutes of this movie ) and lose their way. They babble about the weather, are stopped about a broken taillight by a cop with nothing else to do, who later hassles a young couple kissing in a parked car ( and the visible guy holding the clapperboard ) on the roadside. The female half of this couple is clearly bored, as she repeatedly delivers her lines while looking directly into the camera. Was this nine minutes long scene really necessary in setting up the plot of this movie?
The family comes across some type of home, inhabited by Torgo, a 25 years old man in old age make-up ( because that always works so well ) , hobbling around, who repeats almost every line of dialogue twice. After their car won't start, they're stuck in this desert overnight, where slightly weird, but mostly just interminably boring, things happen. Torgo tells them " The Master " is dead, but eventually, a hidden, sort of Satanic-looking room is found, where " The Master " is shown apparently alive after all. He's a John Astin lookalike in black robe with red hands, acting grandiose, in front of a group of women, who do little more than sit around and talk for several scenes, before a catfight erupts. The family from the first half disappears for most of this second half, while the John Astin clone and his six wives do ... stuff, ... possibly killing Torgo, because yeah, sure, of course they do.
The kissing couple appear again, at night. It looks like they're parked next to a gas station, judging by the lighting equipment reflected on their car.
About an hour in, it's revealed the father from the first half has a gun... ( ! ) He's been armed for this entire time? He shoots ( shoots at? ) The Master, then for some reason, a lesbian couple is introduced in the last scene, and it appears as though the entire plot is starting again, as this pair of girls get lost, with writer/ director/ producer/ star Harold Warren standing in for Torgo.
A lame joke in the closing credits reads, " The end? "
Yes, it is mercifully the end.
" Our sincere thanks to the city & county of El Paso for their cooperation " I bet they just LOVE having their name attached to this one.
I then shouted at the screen, " What? "
It even has 666 in its url!