Let me start off by saying if, god forbid, I ever had another child and it was a girl, 'Emma' would be the last choice on my list of baby names and it's all thanks to this film.
Actually, not even the last choice. There's a negative one billion chance that 'Emma' would ever make the cut.
But I digress.
This shallow excuse for a horror plot revolves around three stunningly idiotic sisters who are going to visit their aunt on some remote island after their parents were killed in a car wreck. The youngest sister, Emma, was also there and barely survived herself according to the middle sister, Marley, though Emma shows no outward physical signs of trauma. Just a mopey teenage girl who is already hurling head-long into goffdom at the age of fourteen.
I give it another year before she's painting her eyes black and donning spiked dog collars while listening to The Cure on repeat.
Since the car wreck, EMMA! is understandably devastated, but she takes it just a teensy bit too far with her, "Everyone around me dies," schtick. But she is correct. Everyone around her does die, but it's only because she keeps running off on her own which prompts her sisters to constantly chase her around the island, shouting, "Emma! EMMA!!!! EMMA!!!!!!!!"
Obviously the townsfolk know a lot more about what's going on than the Three Stooges here, but despite their repeated advice to stfu, Sarah and Marley are steadfast in their pursuit, not to mention their complete inability to care about anyone else aside from EMMA!!
"Whoops, we just got another islander killed with our incessant shrieking. Oh well. EMMA!!!!!"
The two older sisters seem to be under the impression that they are just as expendable as the islanders. The audience nods in agreement.
On another note: Marley seems to be suffering from a terrible case of Middle Child Syndrome. Just an observation.
Honestly at this point, just let the stupid kid go where she wants and if she gets eaten by the big scary fiery twig monster, so be it.
Also, what was up with Seth? What's his story? Does he have one? Does anyone even care?
All in all, the premise was promising, the atmosphere was primed for some great spookiness, but the execution was a god awful failure. The only "horror" I experienced was the fact that this film made it to publication. There was little to no plot and if you even figured out what that was, congratulations. There was no character development, not even among the sisters.
The smart people died off quickly while the three insipid baffoons remained alive until the end. Only in a cliched horror flick is that ever possible, though I still can't figure out why.
Actually, not even the last choice. There's a negative one billion chance that 'Emma' would ever make the cut.
But I digress.
This shallow excuse for a horror plot revolves around three stunningly idiotic sisters who are going to visit their aunt on some remote island after their parents were killed in a car wreck. The youngest sister, Emma, was also there and barely survived herself according to the middle sister, Marley, though Emma shows no outward physical signs of trauma. Just a mopey teenage girl who is already hurling head-long into goffdom at the age of fourteen.
I give it another year before she's painting her eyes black and donning spiked dog collars while listening to The Cure on repeat.
Since the car wreck, EMMA! is understandably devastated, but she takes it just a teensy bit too far with her, "Everyone around me dies," schtick. But she is correct. Everyone around her does die, but it's only because she keeps running off on her own which prompts her sisters to constantly chase her around the island, shouting, "Emma! EMMA!!!! EMMA!!!!!!!!"
Obviously the townsfolk know a lot more about what's going on than the Three Stooges here, but despite their repeated advice to stfu, Sarah and Marley are steadfast in their pursuit, not to mention their complete inability to care about anyone else aside from EMMA!!
"Whoops, we just got another islander killed with our incessant shrieking. Oh well. EMMA!!!!!"
The two older sisters seem to be under the impression that they are just as expendable as the islanders. The audience nods in agreement.
On another note: Marley seems to be suffering from a terrible case of Middle Child Syndrome. Just an observation.
Honestly at this point, just let the stupid kid go where she wants and if she gets eaten by the big scary fiery twig monster, so be it.
Also, what was up with Seth? What's his story? Does he have one? Does anyone even care?
All in all, the premise was promising, the atmosphere was primed for some great spookiness, but the execution was a god awful failure. The only "horror" I experienced was the fact that this film made it to publication. There was little to no plot and if you even figured out what that was, congratulations. There was no character development, not even among the sisters.
The smart people died off quickly while the three insipid baffoons remained alive until the end. Only in a cliched horror flick is that ever possible, though I still can't figure out why.