Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
Season 8, Episode 3
1/10
VERY cool
3 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Such an amazing episode! I love how the series has developed over the last 8 years. The earlier seasons were a little bit shaky in terms of what we, as an audience want to see. They focussed too much on clever, well-written dialogue, interesting character development and a well thought through plot. Since season 4 however, the writers have realised that what we REALLY want is shallow action sequences, poorly written one-liners, and characters being epic badasses in situations where anyone who isn't a main character would have definitely died (hello..?! superhero movies are popular for a reason!) Here are a few things which made this episode VERY cool:

1) I loved the way that the cinematography cleverly reflected the theme of the villain. He's the NIGHT King. The way that they not only filmed everything at NIGHT but also bravely refused to use any competent lighting really improved my viewing experience. The fact that I had to strain my eyes to figure out what was going on for most of the episode really added to my immersion. I felt like I was actually there, bewildered in the darkness. Not only that, but the excessive use of 'shaky cam' and quick cuts made me feel like I too was being physically assaulted! (Didn't actually get hurt at all though. Clearly I'm a main character too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)

2) The writers of this episode cleverly realised that having the characters make sensible, realistic decisions is nowhere near as important as seeing cool stuff happen! Having the Dothraki cavalry inexplicably charge blindly into the enemy is something which, in the earlier seasons would never have been thought of. Rob stark, Stannis Baratheon and Tywin Lannister were all bogged down in being true to their character and using actual tactics (BOOOOOORING!) All the flaming swords disappearing into the night was so epic, and seeing the whole army standing OUTSIDE the castle with the trebuchets as the front line was a super cool visual!

3) The editing was incredible! The way that the main characters would be surrounded by enemies with absolutely no realistic way of surviving, only for the camera to cut away and for them to be fine 5 minutes later was so clever. This happened roughly 3 times for EVERY major character, and every time I was on the edge of my seat. Such a brilliant way of manufacturing meaningless and unsatisfying tension! In the earlier seasons the main characters were just like anybody else. It felt like they were actually in danger when the action started which I really didn't like. They're supposed to be epic, badass heroes guys! Come on!

4) The resolution of the white walker narrative could not have been more BRILLIANT! 7 and a half seasons of build-up, Jon Snow engaged in a constant struggle against the Night King and the army of the dead (even dying and being resurrected in the process) the idea that all the petty squabbling for the iron throne is trivial when compared to the real threat; the personification of death itself... all resolved by Arya stabbing him in the tummy! Such genius writing! Arya is such a badass little ninja! YAAAAS QUEEN! It subverted all of our expectations in such a satisfying way! In the earlier seasons shocking things happened as well but they were always foreshadowed, they involved characters who actually had an investment in the particular plot-line, and they had a strong emotional impact. These are all unimportant ideas. When Arya jumped past literally hundreds of enemies out of nowhere like an actual superhero (Marvel/GoT crossover episode yes please! I can only dream!!) and resolved a 7 season long plot-line which she had nothing to do with, it was so badass! She literally only found out the white walkers existed a few episodes ago! Nobody could possibly see it coming! Such genius writing! Some people seem to think that Jon Snow should have had some input, but it's way more expectation subverty if he doesn't. I love that his whole purpose as a character was taken care of without him in such an unsatisfying way, and I love that he didn't die or anything to give any kind of closure or emotional impact. I also love that bran did literally nothing other than act as bait even though hours upon hours of showtime was dedicated to the three eyed raven plot (LOL Jojen and Hodor why'd you bother dying for him you numpties!) I also love that the white walkers didn't end up having any interesting backstory or motivations and that they were literally one dimensional cartoon bad-guys who just want to kill everyone because that's what they do. Most of all I really love that we have such an emotionally engaging conflict now with the middle-aged alcoholic and her pirate boy-toy over who gets to sit on the pointy chair oregfihaweporgihWEOIGHVOWIHGERRWHGVOAIHG!!

Art is dead and everyone seems to love it
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