5/10
COMES UP SHORT, EVEN AS A GRINDHOUSE
20 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is a grindhouse style movie. 1990: A woman is at her gyno (David Chen) who claims she has a mild case of VD, maybe she got from a public toilet seat, according to her ill informed doctor. She knows the woman who infected her husband and goes to her house for some kind of justice, only to get her head smashed in with a frying pan. Key grindhouse death metal music, run opening credits.

We now come to modern day. Jim (Adam Scarimbolo) is at home with his girlfriend Doreen (Emily Grace). They are taking a bath together, apparently as a prelude to their first time together. Then suddenly his dad, Tex (Greg Travis, a native of Texas whose accent sounds fake) is home and an instant later in the bathroom with them as the girl "hides" behind a frosted glass shower door, her outline clearly visible. Dad demonstrates he is somewhat psychotic. The incident however does not deter teen hormones and 8 weeks later Doreen has morning sickness...in the afternoon.

Doreen located Jim's mother, who abandoned him, on the Internet as his dad's crudeness escalates. Jim finds an old 8mm/16mm film in his dad's private shed which he shares with the neighbor Jen (Heidi Kristoffer). Meanwhile his dad visits a hypnotherapist friend Sid (Albert Insinnia). They take turns sexually assaulting a hypnotized female patient.

Jim and Doreen head into the Piney's to locate his mom. Jen and her bf Bobby (Noah Fleiss)come along because they saw some pot fields down that way (dark green with red hairs oozing with resin). Their dork friend Gary (Bryan Farrell Wilson, normally a stunt man) joins them as well as his gf Steph(Lauren Waisbren Nathanson) who we discover has vaginal dryness issues.

Our cigarette smoking beer drinking group arrives at what appears to be abandoned homes (with mowed lawns) and decide to play hide-n-seek. They enter through busted out windows and use the word "disgusting" frequently to describe the smell and surroundings. When Jim and Doreen find a bed with blood stained Polaroid snuff pictures they decide it is time to leave. But wait, they are missing 2 people and Bobby wants to see the snuff photos....

It is now a question of who lives and who dies and how does this all tie together with that early 1990 scene.

One Piney has a pop-eye, sign of inbreeding, at least in the movies. Another Piney wields an ax. You know someone is going to die when his death metal theme music is played.

About this time the movie takes a twist and ties up some plot points, but creates plot problems.

The plot is very weak. The acting weak. The music good, but not enough of it. While these are characteristics we expect in a grindhouse film, this one didn't meet the standard. This is a good first attempt for Jeff Roenning, but clearly he has not mastered the genre.
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