crashdavis18 Review of They're Inside

They're Inside (2019)

I hate phony reviews

[3/10 · 10 August 2019]

This movie was so boring that I started looking at the profiles of the 9 and 10-star reviewers. With maybe one or two exceptions, each of those reviewers had only ever reviewed one movie, ... this one. Obviously, friends, family and those involved with this movie, trying to boost the ratings of what is a terrible waste of time. To be fair, there was an 8 star review whose author had reviewed three whole movies, all of which were written by Schuyler Brumley. Hey Schuyler, any chance that you're horrorfan2019?

I don't have a lot of fun criticizing creative people for having put effort into a movie but, just because there are so many fake positive reviews of this film, just some of the things that bothered me:

• a tired, cliched premise, executed poorly: cabin in the woods; no cell phone reception; car won't start; nameless, faceless, psychopathic killers who have no motivation.

• a horribly paced move, which drags throughout, resulting in me surfing IMDB and writing this review.

• stupid characters, acting in irrational ways, making suicidal decisions.

• fricken' found footage, which is the laziest and most annoying form of movie-making ever invented. Just an excuse for people who have no idea how to properly use a camera. I hate you 'Blair Witch Project' for popularizing this horrible, evil genre.

The smash cuts to wildlife, which I can only assume were meant to be foreshadowing or metaphors of some type, were also annoying but at least not an exhausted trope.

Tack on an ending that may supposed to be a shocking plot twist but is, in fact, completely incomprehensible and you have maybe threes stars.