Howling wind, crashing thunder, honking car horns, and a strange whooshing sound: if the repeated use of these terrible sound effects don't drive you to turn off this no-expense-spent horror spoof, then there's a good chance that the diabolical acting, lame humour, dreadful direction and crap editing will.
For those intrepid viewers who insist on going the distance, here's some of the utter garbage that the film has in store...
An opening scene that proves that, despite what the old adage claims, there is indeed smoke without fire.
Hugely irritating tannoy announcements ("Four screens, no waiting").
Cameltoe par excellence courtesy of Joanna Foxx, who slips into a pair of too-tight gold spandex trousers as theatre employee Selena (Foxx also provides the film with a spot of topless nudity).
A soundtrack played on a cheap Casio organ.
Mary Woronov's gams (the best things about this whole sorry mess).
A terribly staged and utterly pointless mugging scene.
A disintegrating telephone receiver.
Selena killed by a spotlight and a wind machine.
A wholly unconvincing decapitation.
Produced, written, directed, scored, photographed and edited by Rick Sloane (who also provided visual effects, special effects, animation, and lunchtime nibbles for cast and crew), I think we all know who to hold responsible for this colossal waste of time.
For those intrepid viewers who insist on going the distance, here's some of the utter garbage that the film has in store...
An opening scene that proves that, despite what the old adage claims, there is indeed smoke without fire.
Hugely irritating tannoy announcements ("Four screens, no waiting").
Cameltoe par excellence courtesy of Joanna Foxx, who slips into a pair of too-tight gold spandex trousers as theatre employee Selena (Foxx also provides the film with a spot of topless nudity).
A soundtrack played on a cheap Casio organ.
Mary Woronov's gams (the best things about this whole sorry mess).
A terribly staged and utterly pointless mugging scene.
A disintegrating telephone receiver.
Selena killed by a spotlight and a wind machine.
A wholly unconvincing decapitation.
Produced, written, directed, scored, photographed and edited by Rick Sloane (who also provided visual effects, special effects, animation, and lunchtime nibbles for cast and crew), I think we all know who to hold responsible for this colossal waste of time.