Review of Pickaxe

Pickaxe (2014)
3/10
Not worth watching
13 November 2019
This movie is a Friday The 13th wanna-be. God knows how many times I rolled my eyes at hearing how many try-hard references there was to the name Cunningham in this. However, being a Jason fan, and tolerating quite a lot of wanna-be and intentionally a tribute to F13th films, this one fails on many levels.

For starters, the cast is not believable, and I couldn't care less about them. One lead looks like Katherine Tate trying to pull off being a high school student again. Maybe if she was cast in Grease she could get away with it, but her age is as obvious to the veiwer as her non-existent acting skills. Then they have thrown in two guys who look like a cross between Artie Lang and John Belushi, without the charisma, and we're expected to beleive they're sexy leading men that all women can't get enough of. Then there is Poindexter and Mr Sweetchucks son who the plot tried to make you care and feel sorry for, but fails miserably at how forced and lame it was done.

Despite terrible actors and poor dialog, the cutting of the film seems rushed or unfinished. It cuts between one shot, to a shot that should have had a bit more in between to make it a smooth transition. But no, we get someone trying to drive away from the killer, to the killer hanging on the side of the van like he teleported there. It's just bad, and not even laugh out loud bad.

The gore effects are really amateurish. Apparently anyone who gets killed in this movie spits blood out their mouth and let's it flow down their chin. Even amatuers know to mix things up, not have everyone's death scene do the same spitting blood out routine.

With too many rushed cuts and bad edits, probably missing scenes needed, or ran out of money to shoot, mixed with the poor visual effects and pathetic acting, writing, directing, sound department, I can't really say anyone did a good job at anything on this film... Maybe just the cameraman/men. That's about it.

Even if you don't mind a F13th try-hard rip-off, don't bother with this one. It's not worth your time.
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