Waterworld (1995)
2/10
What were they thinking?
21 November 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Costner must've gotten the studio executives high when they green lighted this. How else could it have possibly come to fruition? Costner - "So we're gonna rip off Mad Max 10 years after it's popular." Studio execs - "Hmmm....OK" Costner - "But here's the kicker; it's gonna be set on the water and we're gonna call it Waterworld." Studio execs - "OMG, here's 200 million dollars!"

Waterworld would've been cool as a B-rate Mad Max ripoff from the 80's with more of a cult feel, but the premise just can't be taken seriously as a mid-90's blockbuster. As to the faults of the movie, where to begin? I'm a big fan of Kevin Costner but Mariner is a terribly conceived main character. He's wooden, boring, unlikeable, has a dumb accent, and generally draws zero interest from the audience once so ever. On top of that, Enola the little girl who's importance to the story has religious significance is an annoying brat. Mariner would've done the audience a huge favor if he threw her over the side of the boat like he threatened! Jeanne Tripplehorn is the love interest but not once in the movie is there even a hint of chemistry between her and Mariner. The plots' attempt at romance is so weak along with building friendship among the 3 main characters. Most of the actors just phone in their performances and it's hard to blame them considering the material they're given (Dennis Hopper being the main exception). Hopper is fun as the villain Deacon but all in all you can't take him or any of the bad guys seriously in the context of a movie that takes the story seriously. The bad guys (Smokers) serve almost completely as comic relief and are really the only likable characters in the film. So it's hard to root for Mariner to kick at the end and rescue Enola as a result. That ending sequence is one of the most cringe worthy things I've ever seen in a movie (Enola telling the main henchman how tough Mariner is with barf inducing corny dialogue while he effortlessly kills about 100 guys). When Deacon asks why he bothered coming to rescue her he replies "she's my friend." *Barf

Also, what better way to preach to the masses about climate change than with a record budget blockbuster that used up all the steel in Hawaii to build a temporary set?
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