Youths without parents are stranded, as other adults, at an airport on Christmas Eve. Lewis Black operates the airport, stuck as others at the airport, robbed of his vacation, looking to keep the kids either at a nearby lodge or at the UM room (basically a dreary, concrete-floored cell), and out of his hair. That doesn't go according to plan as frequent flying tech geek, Charlie Goodfinch (Tyler James Williams, always fainting at the sight of Santa for some reason and seemingly emotionally attached to "womb-like" enclosed spaces), AV Club nerd, Spencer Davenport (Dyllan Christopher), quiet, "beefy" Timothy (Brett Kelly; Bad Santa), boarding school lonely "rich kid", Grace (Gia Mantegna), and "touchy" attitudinal, Donna (Quinn Shephard) decide to leave the UM room and traverse the airport, raking up restaurant and massage/therapy bills, driving security cruisers, and intruding upon a security equipment room. Once corralled and returned to the UM room, Spencer realizes his blond sister, Katherine (Dominique Saldaña), has been taken to the lodge, determined to get to her and leave behind something from Santa so she won't be disappointed. That's it in a nutshell as Black and his security staff loses the kids, finds them, loses them, etc. The airport is the main setting with the lodge a visitor to the film on occasion as Valerie is tormented by a stewardess' (Jessica Walter) daughter (her braces seem to be a visual cue that she's unbearable), "babysat" while getting her hair braided and face painted with an overt makeup job. Nothing special, this might end up being a nostalgia trip for millennials and its holiday spirit heart is in the right place, so that might help. Black has to keep his usual potty-mouth PG so he's more or less a punching bag for disgruntled lodge customers, luggage in the floor, and trips down snowy landscape in a kayak...he does get the Scrooge redemption treatment as Spencer realizes after a calmer conversation at the end that he isn't a Christmas guy because of family strife. Wilmer Valderrama plays his character completely absent any silliness, Black's oft-mistreated lackey, stuck with the kids, losing them as well. He does help them at the end to find Valerie and does assist in providing all those stuck at the airport with a nice bit of Christmas cheer once the stockroom keeping all the seasonal stuff put up are freed, decorating primarily one area to get some smiles from many left inside during Christmas Day. I will say, my kids loved the film, maybe because it was like an adventure for the main youths loose in the airport, evading Black and his white-suited security staff (which included Kids in the Hall alums, playing musical chairs in boredom, and Rob Riggle, going to his tried and true adult idiot routine, often tripping or fumbling instead of successfully proving his employment was just), who often prove time and again that airport security hiring practices should be revised and improved. The youths are appealing enough, although they cause a lot of unneeded trouble to Black and his team. Such melodrama includes the Davenports' mom, Valerie (Paget Brewster) freaking out at her sister's obsessively Christmassy home (Teri Garr) and father (Rob Cordrry), in his bio-fuel car in Pennsylvania, trying to reach the airport and having to deny his clean/green philosophy by driving a fossil fuel consuming Humvee after a disastrous explosion involving diesel. A lot of familiar faces include The Office castmates, Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak, Tony Hale of Veep as a lonely holdover customer who gets a present from Santa, and Kristen Wiig (who I somehow missed). Chase scenes, vent escapes, camera illusions, and baggage claim (poor Charlie in a suitcase, endures quite a trip, flipped, tossed, and bounced quite a bit while inside) adventures ensue. I think this is mostly forgettable, and ultimately the plot is really thin, with little surprises to be had. Black tries, man, he does. Probably very limited in the audience that it will appeal to. The young actors, to their credit, aren't without their charms. Little couplings develop during their night/early morning journeys in the airport.
Review of Unaccompanied Minors
