Review of My Suicide

My Suicide (2009)
9/10
A dark and surreal experience that treads the line of comedy and tragedy
28 January 2020
Thank you, Netflix, for introducing me to this little gem. Archie's Final Project (or, listed on Netflix by its original title, "My Suicide") caught my eye due to its themes of teen suicide and school controversies; I was the subject of a similar school controversy myself at 12-years-old that resulted in my expulsion and attempted suicide before such things were really discussed and explored in depth. Thus, anything that features these important themes attracts me like a fly to light.

Gabriel Sunday plays Archie Williams, a 17-year-old media geek who announces to his media class that his final project will be to film his suicide. He also seems to believe his entire life is a movie--as another review said, this is another interesting take on the Truman Show delusion that serves its own twists and turns. Thus begins one of the most unique and interesting movies I've ever seen. My Suicide is filmed almost like a documentary, as if we are, in fact, watching Archie's final project after his planned suicide. Interwoven between scenes of the aftermath of Archie's suicide film announcement are montages of colorful teenage visual ramblings, further character development of Archie and his troubled crush Sierra, and bursts of dark comedy. Sunday is absolutely mesmerizing to watch as Archie; he was just 19 when he played the role, and he plays it so believably. Undeniably charming, troubled, awkward, odd, yet fantastically skilled at playing both sides of the line between comedy and tragedy, Sunday is nothing short of amazing, and his few film/TV credits since this are baffling to me. Why in the world isn't this man in more stuff?

A total surprise to me was Sierra's inclusion in the story (played by Brooke Nevin). At first, I thought she would distract the film from its suicidal/teen angst themes and instead focus it on teenage romance. While there is an undeniable romantic connection between Archie and Sierra, it is realistically grounded in tragedy, a skewed immature teen vision of love (shown perfectly in a surprisingly intimate mutual cutting scene), and a shared troubled mental state. My Suicide is at times hard to watch because you are watching confused teens make bad decisions or simply refuse to take important decisions seriously with lax attitudes at the risk of fatal consequences; yet, because of that, it is utterly realistic and devastating. This movie made me both laugh out loud and dread the eventual ending as I feared these characters would make the ultimate decision. Without spoilers, I can say that at least one teenager in the movie commits suicide; while the act itself isn't shown, the aftermath is (including the body) and it's soul-wrenching. It's a depressingly beautiful scene that wallows in its finality and shocking morbidity; as someone who has attempted suicide, I appreciated the way this scene was handled.

My Suicide appears to have been quite the indie darling upon its release in 2009, evidenced by its many awards at multiple film festivals. It deserves them all, though they clearly didn't give the film the exposure it truly deserves. At times delightfully comedic and at other times oppressively tragic, My Suicide starts out like a teenager's school project and seems to mature along with its protagonist as the seconds go by and the darker themes crawl over each scene like an oppressive fog. Every second of its journey is interesting and hit me close to the heart.
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