4/10
Nonsense in a title
2 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It seems that Pascal Laugier may be a one-trick-pony, as this movie doesn't differ too much from his brutal 2008 shocker Martyrs (which itself veered-off into a cryptic, nonsense ending). The story has two sulky teenagers and their mother (played by Mylene Farmer, of all people) move into their aunt's old house after her passing. Exactly why they're moving out into the middle of nowhere (is this the ghostland in question?) and MUST live in this archaic funhouse of nightmare dolls and puppets is never made clear, though there seems to be some sort of vague rumor circulating among the other townsfolk.

When the "ice-cream truck killers" (or whatever they are) invade their new creepy home it seems that we're in for a bloody home invasion flick, but then it switches to alternate timelines and universes, which would be interesting if Pascal Laugier knew to use it effectively. Sadly, it just feels like pretentious padding. If you're a fan of 2002-era trash horror flicks you are sure to enjoy the endless stingers, stingers, stingers, yet more effing stingers. You'll end up with anxiety at the overuse of this frustrating and lazy technique, which is so far overused in general, nevermind in just this movie, that after a while you'll begin to question if they are attempting to make this movie a lampoon of the tired genre.

Make-up effects range from laughable, to somewhat unique and disturbing. Far too much of the blood is CGI and it looks terrible. Some of the acting is just downright awful too. It's shot in Canada, doubling as Illinois, and there's a cold, empty look to the photography. The score can be quite atmospheric in places but it is overall a forgettable effort.

The movie is notable for the horrible accident on-set in which Taylor Hickson had her face almost sliced off her skull when she fell through a candy-glass window. She was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery and eventually sued the production company for damages. She may regret the permanent damage to her face for such a trashy movie but...honestly...I think it makes her look really cool now. She's got a defining, stand-out look to her and she could take full advantage of that.

I wanted this to be a nice, little atmospheric chiller and what I got something that would have been lazy and dated over fifteen years ago. You might say I was...disenchanted.

(Thank you, I'm here all week)
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