"A great Lovecraftian horror story" they said. "Scary and tense movie" they said. Which Lovecraft stories about idiotic CIA plots to conduct drug tests are they babbling about? Which scene here is scary? One of the many ultra-cheesy jump-scare scenes, or one of those phony-looking "really old" Nixon-era government footage scenes in which barely employable actors pretend to lose their minds by screaming suddenly after a minute of silence?
"The movie starts really well" they said. No. The beginning is even worse than the stuff later on. I couldn't have been more bored with the corny pseudo-documentary intro if I locked myself up in a solitary-confinement prison cell.
Ridiculous paranoid left-wing nonsense, as per usual. Films like these are a dime-a-dozen. Apparently the CIA exists only so they can sadistically torture American civilians, and to prevent communists from taking over America. Well, clearly they failed abysmally! Communism is now in nearly every pore of decaying American society. Which is why the vast majority of current movies is so blatantly PC, and so laughably biased. There are not-so-subtle hints that this writer is a great fan of Bill Clinton. (Which is very telling.) The writer suggests that his arkansasoidical hero made sure that the CIA stopped testing drugs on "American citizens". I am just not sure whether that was before or after do-gooder Clinton found out about Jeff Epstein's pedo island yet chose to be quiet about it? (There. I can play this goofy conspiracy game too. Two can play that game. Or a billion, on YouTube.)
Then there is that over-the-top early interrogation scene in which cops behave like Stalinist gulag guards, speaking the way American cops never do. Only movie cops talk this way i.e. like raging psychopaths and dungeon masters. Perhaps the clod who wrote this script ought to take a trip to a randomly picked Latin American banana republic to find out what real corruption and police brutality are like. Now there's a chance for a rude awakening. Liberals hate that.
Five minutes of boring silence... BANG! Five minutes of boring non-moody silence... BANG! BADABING! That's the movie in a nutshell, that is its predictable rhythm and its only miserly little strategy to justify itself as a horror film. Awful "jump-scares" are neither jump-worthy nor scare anyone but the most frighten-happy of inexperienced movie-going mice. They shouldn't be called "jump-scares" anymore, but perhaps "sudden loud and annoying noises that intended to replace real scares and help a generic plot from crumbling under the weight of its own tedium". I know, that's a bit too long, but at least it's accurate.
I was utterly bored.
Small wonder this writer/director hasn't done anything since 2013 i.e. since he hatched this silly duckling.
My apologies to ducks. Especially since I know for a fact that even Donald Duck would have written/directed a better movie.
"The movie starts really well" they said. No. The beginning is even worse than the stuff later on. I couldn't have been more bored with the corny pseudo-documentary intro if I locked myself up in a solitary-confinement prison cell.
Ridiculous paranoid left-wing nonsense, as per usual. Films like these are a dime-a-dozen. Apparently the CIA exists only so they can sadistically torture American civilians, and to prevent communists from taking over America. Well, clearly they failed abysmally! Communism is now in nearly every pore of decaying American society. Which is why the vast majority of current movies is so blatantly PC, and so laughably biased. There are not-so-subtle hints that this writer is a great fan of Bill Clinton. (Which is very telling.) The writer suggests that his arkansasoidical hero made sure that the CIA stopped testing drugs on "American citizens". I am just not sure whether that was before or after do-gooder Clinton found out about Jeff Epstein's pedo island yet chose to be quiet about it? (There. I can play this goofy conspiracy game too. Two can play that game. Or a billion, on YouTube.)
Then there is that over-the-top early interrogation scene in which cops behave like Stalinist gulag guards, speaking the way American cops never do. Only movie cops talk this way i.e. like raging psychopaths and dungeon masters. Perhaps the clod who wrote this script ought to take a trip to a randomly picked Latin American banana republic to find out what real corruption and police brutality are like. Now there's a chance for a rude awakening. Liberals hate that.
Five minutes of boring silence... BANG! Five minutes of boring non-moody silence... BANG! BADABING! That's the movie in a nutshell, that is its predictable rhythm and its only miserly little strategy to justify itself as a horror film. Awful "jump-scares" are neither jump-worthy nor scare anyone but the most frighten-happy of inexperienced movie-going mice. They shouldn't be called "jump-scares" anymore, but perhaps "sudden loud and annoying noises that intended to replace real scares and help a generic plot from crumbling under the weight of its own tedium". I know, that's a bit too long, but at least it's accurate.
I was utterly bored.
Small wonder this writer/director hasn't done anything since 2013 i.e. since he hatched this silly duckling.
My apologies to ducks. Especially since I know for a fact that even Donald Duck would have written/directed a better movie.