Grand Canyon (1991)
7/10
Lawyer Embarrasses Profession
10 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
From the Director of Body Heat comes another gritty study of a disturbed man on the edge. We first encounter Mack (Kevin Kline) at a Lakers game, courtside in a mooched seat but missing the action, too busy ogling every single woman who walks away from her seat in the whole lower section. After the game flies by in a leering blur Mack flexes his navigational muscles by driving home without a map, promptly getting lost. Gawking at the Black occupants of a passing car for an interminable length of time, Mack suddenly looks dead ahead when one passenger waves at him as if to say "Can I help you, why are you staring at me?"

A short time later Mack nervously whines into a payphone that he fears for his life in the peaceful neighborhood where his Lexus has now broken down. The same car passes by, and once again Mack stares at the young men in the car with the same contemptible look on his face.

After he scampers to his disabled vehicle like a deer being chased by an invisible coyote through a meadow, Mack finally takes it too far. The young men in the car are concerned Mack may be an escaped mental patient due to the way he has been looking at them, so they offer roadside assistance ("Hey, man, you need some help here?") and even show Mack the gun the leader will use to protect Mack if necessary. Mack rudely threatens that he has called the police, knowing the LAPD reputation in 1991. The only call Mack did actually make was to a tow truck company he knowingly brought into a situation he himself thought was deadly. Once he escapes the awkward situation with the young men Mack talks Simon the tow truck driver's ear off, causing Simon to miss another more lucrative towing call.

Our next window into Mack's soul comes as he shocks his wife Claire and teen son Roberto by actually showing up to see the 15-year-old off for a month long stint as a summer camp counselor. Of course Mack manages to dash off before the motorcoach even leaves the parking lot, but still.

We soon see why he had to leave so soon as Mack races to get back behind his desk to flirt shamelessly with his office assistant and mock the surname of a Vietnamese client. Claire practically begs him not to "work late" again, but this time it is not to prevent his philandering but rather to show off a random baby she possibly kidnapped.

The extent of Mack's demonic powers soon becomes clear when he slices his finger while cutting vegetables. The devil-blood pouring out of the wound drips on the floor and causes a localized earthquake that kills at least one neighbor.

When the Earth has stopped shaking Mack thinks of a way to rent out an empty apartment he has been losing money on in Canoga Park: he calls tow truck driver Simon in a thinly-disguised real estate pitch which Simon unfortunately falls for due to his desperate wish to get his sister, niece, and nephew out of a violent situation. Over breakfast with Simon at a cheap diner Mack riffs on some fairy-tale about a woman in a Pittsburgh Pirates hat to try to draw attention away from his primary concern, the slumlord pitch.

Later that day Mack, high as a kite, stumbles in to the restaurant on the ground floor of his office building looking for his depressed mistress/assistant (Mary-Louise Parker). Barging in on her lunch break with friend Jane (Alfre Woodard), Mack realizes Jane and Simon are a perfect match since they are, as the future couple later realizes, the only two Black people he ever met.

A few days later Mack completes the story arc by dumping his mistress, leading her to quit her job. As a final insult he writes her an over-the-top complimentary reference letter that causes a prospective employer to ask more suspicious questions than if he had just written a normal letter.

Besides dropping his jilted lover Mack continues to impress us all by being AWOL at Roberto's end of summer camp pickup. Trying to make up for it Mack takes Roberto for a driving lesson in heavy LA traffic and berates his son repeatedly for predictable driving errors.

While we never see immigration attorney Mack in a courtroom or even doing anything remotely lawyerly, he does manage to have a giant potted cactus in his office, because that is what he thinks all immigrants see when crossing the border. Hopefully disbarred by 1992, Mack is a disgrace to his honorable profession. The film ends with a group journey to the only natural landform that could possibly contain his massive ego, the Grand Canyon.

7/10
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