Review of Cyst

Cyst (2020)
8/10
For the love of "Troll 2", see "Cyst"! I in-cyst!
10 April 2021
My rating for "Cyst" is probably too generous, and the praising words in the user-comment you are about to read are undoubtedly far too favorable. Please look elsewhere for a more objective review, because I have a giant weakness for genuine and authentic throwbacks to ancient B-movies. Nowadays, 50s Sci-Fi movies and 80s slashers are merely just being spoofed and ridiculed, while the pretentious directors have the nerves to call it meta-horror or homages. They are not! "Cyst" is a true homage. Writer/director Tyler Russell took the effort to come up with an actual plot (and a real good one, too), the gore and splatter effects are 200% handmade craftmanship, and some of the names in the cast are a dream come true for every fan of legendary bad cinema!

Set in 1961, the one and only George Hardy (a hero from "Troll 2) shines as Dr. Guy; - a medical authority for the removal of thick and icky bodily cysts chock-full of pus. His lifework is the Get-Gone; - a revolutionary medical device that vaporizes cysts via laser technology. There's only one minor problem, though... Dr. Guy can't get his machine patented because it always fails at critical times. For his last chance to persuade the medical committee, Dr. Guy saddles up his assistant with a gigantic cyst to give a proper demonstration, but the cyst develops into a monster and goes on a bloody rampage.

Everything about "Cyst" is exquisite! During its short & sweet running time (barely 70 minutes) there are great things happening. The gooey cyst-juice erupting out of human bodies, the giant tumor wiggling through the sinister hospital hallways, the old-school use of bright colors and extreme close-ups, ... It's simply delicious! Apart from George Hardy, there are also remarkable roles for Eva Habermann (who starred in a German sort of remake of "Troll 2"), Greg Sestero (known from Tommy Wiseau's "The Room") and Gene Jones (who even worked with Tarantino in "The Hateful Eight"). "Cyst" is a must-see for true fans of the horror genre, with a particularly big heart for low-budgeted but imaginative monstrosities.
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