You know how some low-budget, so-called "Grade Z" pictures are so bad that they become unintentionally funny, and hence mildly entertaining to watch, by virtue of the makers' sheer ineptitude? Ed Wood famously made some of those, but his glee as he stole and improvised his way to a finished film, captured so wonderfully by Johnny Depp in Tim Burton's semi-biographical movie, made Ed's schlocky movies barely bearable to watch with tongue firmly wedged in one's cheek. All of that is my way of saying this piece of schlock (could've used another word there), set/shot in the Everglades, has no such redeeming quality. The first half of "Death Curse of Tartu" is stultifyingly boring, not even good enough to be a near-silent screen travelogue of the Florida wilderness. The second half, which has some kinda nearly indecipherable plot about Indian curses and fantastic demonic creatures, is even worse because of the horrific writing (especially female characters' dialogue in between bleating screams), even worse acting (the male characters most certainly included), and all-around directing dysfunction. This review is meant to disabuse you of two notions, both quite common among viewers of movies such as this one: 1)Before it's viewing: It might be so bad it's good; uh, NOPE! And 2)Early on in its viewing: But surely it has to get better than this, right? No siree, bob, and please stop calling me Shirley. What no negative number ratings? -1/10 there, I did it.
Review of Death Curse of Tartu
