Ron Perlman is big, Vinnie Jones is ugly, Malcom McDowell isn't big but he's no oil painting. Once again Vinnie's 'boat' is front and centre on another celluloid atrocity, except there's no way this was shot on 35mm and it's highly unlikely to ever hit a big screen. Vinnie didn't come to West Virginia for god, oh no. He came there because there are still a few Americans who think his gangster schtick is legit and are willing to pay him to mumble a few lines while looking 'ard. 'Back in London Harris is the top man' actually back in London Harris means arse or ass. Which is sadly ironic as Malcom is making a right 'arris of himself appearing alongside the ex-Wimbledon defender. 'Don't do it, think of the money' says Harris/McDowell. You shouldn't have done, think about your reputation say I. Obviously Vinnies does it and he doesn't think about the money (though there's no other reason for this to exist). This is written and directed by Scott Wiper, it could easily have been made by a windscreen wiper and packet of moist baby wipes. You're free to make your choice and pay for this on whatever screening service will host it, but if you keep paying them they'll only make more. So I return to the quote from 'Arris/Malcom/Little Alex 'Don't do it, think of the money' buy yourself something else instead.
Review of The Big Ugly
