I wish I loved Metal Lords, I really do. For the past twenty years I've been a diehard metal fan and it's obvious that the people behind this movie are. A raucous comedy about teenagers discovering a love of metal that includes cameos from famous faces and references to underground bands like Tomb Mold should be right up my street, but unfortunately Metal Lords just isn't very good.
This is down to several reasons. First, it isn't funny. While the corners of your mouth might curl up slightly once in a while, there isn't a single belly laugh to be had. The complete absence of humour becomes glaring after a while and there's no witty or insightful dialogue to make up for it.
Second, these teenagers don't behave like teenagers. They're more like how fifty-year-old screenwriters think teenagers behave. There's a lot of angst, banter and directionless anger, but it feels stilted and unnatural. These are teenagers written by adults who don't know any teenagers themselves, but have seen Superbad and that'll do.
Lastly, the most outwardly metal character and one of the three central protagonists, is an irredeemable jerk for almost the entire movie. Obnoxious characters are fine, but Hunter isn't just unpleasant to his teachers, bullies and parents. He speaks to his friends in the exact same way he speaks to people he doesn't like. He treats his supposed best friend Kevin like dirt, is openly hostile towards Emily, Kevin's girlfriend, and it's difficult to see why they even hang around with one another.
On the plus side, the last fifteen minutes of the film is great. A race against time to compete in a Battle of the Bands competition climaxes in a big redemption moment that is genuinely uplifting. It's a bit contrived that an entire school turn into raging metal fans in the space of a single song, but it's still a terrific ending. And let's not overlook the fact that the original song they play, is really really good. It's a massive thrash metal banger with nasty riffs and an adrenaline pumping chorus and it ends the film on a headbanging high.
Shame then that the preceding hour and twenty minutes is so joyless. I hate to say this because I wanted so much to love Metal Lords, but the killer soundtrack can't compensate for the lack of jokes.
This is down to several reasons. First, it isn't funny. While the corners of your mouth might curl up slightly once in a while, there isn't a single belly laugh to be had. The complete absence of humour becomes glaring after a while and there's no witty or insightful dialogue to make up for it.
Second, these teenagers don't behave like teenagers. They're more like how fifty-year-old screenwriters think teenagers behave. There's a lot of angst, banter and directionless anger, but it feels stilted and unnatural. These are teenagers written by adults who don't know any teenagers themselves, but have seen Superbad and that'll do.
Lastly, the most outwardly metal character and one of the three central protagonists, is an irredeemable jerk for almost the entire movie. Obnoxious characters are fine, but Hunter isn't just unpleasant to his teachers, bullies and parents. He speaks to his friends in the exact same way he speaks to people he doesn't like. He treats his supposed best friend Kevin like dirt, is openly hostile towards Emily, Kevin's girlfriend, and it's difficult to see why they even hang around with one another.
On the plus side, the last fifteen minutes of the film is great. A race against time to compete in a Battle of the Bands competition climaxes in a big redemption moment that is genuinely uplifting. It's a bit contrived that an entire school turn into raging metal fans in the space of a single song, but it's still a terrific ending. And let's not overlook the fact that the original song they play, is really really good. It's a massive thrash metal banger with nasty riffs and an adrenaline pumping chorus and it ends the film on a headbanging high.
Shame then that the preceding hour and twenty minutes is so joyless. I hate to say this because I wanted so much to love Metal Lords, but the killer soundtrack can't compensate for the lack of jokes.