Instead of a decent biopic which could have delved into the background and mystique of Rudolph Valentino, we get over 100 minutes of Anthony Dexter pretty much trying to bag Eleanor Parker.
Now Dexter was certainly a good choice for Valentino, because of his facial and physical resemblance. And we all know his subsequent career reached the stratosphere, with classics like "Fire Maidens of Outer Space," "12 To the Moon," and "The Phantom Planet" (these last two films oddly enough featuring silent screen legend Francis X. Bushman).
Along with Parker, support (if you can call it that) is provided by Richard Carlson as a fictitious director, Otto Kruger as a fictitious producer, Patricia Medina as a fictitious actress/dancer, and Joseph Calleia as a fictitious paisano named Luigi Verducci.
If you like dancing, Dexter does the tango with Parker, Medina, and an old bag. If you don't like dancing, you'll probably still like the almost-four-minute tango sequence with Dexter and Medina, as Dexter stages an "audition" at Kruger's home. Highlights include Dexter cracking a whip and flipping his cigarette onto Kruger's floor, prompting Kruger to yell "Who has been putting out their coals on my floor?" No, wait, Eddie Murphy said that in some other film.
We get a little montage of Dexter doing Valentino from films like "The Eagle" and "The Sheik." Incredibly, the death scene from "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" is not even how it is played in the Valentino film. How is it possible to screw this up?
With about 30 minutes to go, Dexter finally gets a pain in his stomach. The audience probably had gas long before that.
Now Dexter was certainly a good choice for Valentino, because of his facial and physical resemblance. And we all know his subsequent career reached the stratosphere, with classics like "Fire Maidens of Outer Space," "12 To the Moon," and "The Phantom Planet" (these last two films oddly enough featuring silent screen legend Francis X. Bushman).
Along with Parker, support (if you can call it that) is provided by Richard Carlson as a fictitious director, Otto Kruger as a fictitious producer, Patricia Medina as a fictitious actress/dancer, and Joseph Calleia as a fictitious paisano named Luigi Verducci.
If you like dancing, Dexter does the tango with Parker, Medina, and an old bag. If you don't like dancing, you'll probably still like the almost-four-minute tango sequence with Dexter and Medina, as Dexter stages an "audition" at Kruger's home. Highlights include Dexter cracking a whip and flipping his cigarette onto Kruger's floor, prompting Kruger to yell "Who has been putting out their coals on my floor?" No, wait, Eddie Murphy said that in some other film.
We get a little montage of Dexter doing Valentino from films like "The Eagle" and "The Sheik." Incredibly, the death scene from "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" is not even how it is played in the Valentino film. How is it possible to screw this up?
With about 30 minutes to go, Dexter finally gets a pain in his stomach. The audience probably had gas long before that.