Pet Sematary (2019)
3/10
A very inferior effort
16 January 2023
Actually, not an effort at all. I've rarely seen actors with such an overwhelming "let's get this over with" feel.

For those unfamiliar with this now-classic story: A doctor moves to the countryside with his family. Unfortunately, his daughter's cat dies soon. Their weird old neighbor helps him bury the cat, but it's not an ordinary burial ground, and soon scary events follow.

I've always loved the original movie, and the book is among my favorite King novels. If they adopt it ten times, I'll watch all ten. But this movie does an injustice to one of the most tense stories in recent times. Just a couple of jump scares, toned down atmosphere, generic music... Despite the supernatural elements, it's not horror, it's a very mild thriller. It looks (and sadly, feels) like a TV movie. Honestly, I don't see the point of making a horror movie by taking out, or toning down all the elements of horror.

The Pet Sematary novel has a great, very deep love story in its core: Everything in the story happens because Creed loves his wife and kids so much that there's literally nothing he won't do for them. And the neighbor Jud, beyond all his spooky weird hillbilly vibe, is a father figure for Creed. In this movie, he's just a spooky weird hillbilly. And Louis (Jason Clarke) acts like he met his wife just that very day, on the set.

I've always loved Jason Clarke. I know a lot of people don't like him and find his acting wooden, and if this movie was the first time I'd seen him, I would've agreed. His worst performance by far, but he's not the only one. It looks like nobody believed in the movie they were making. There's no chemistry between Creed and his wife, Creed and his neighbor, Creed and his kids.

The only improvement over the original movie is Churchill, the cat. The original cat was a great actor and actually very pretty, but this cat is more scary.

And of course, they had to make Victor Pascow a black guy. Yay, humanity is saved, racism has ended. But I didn't see any trans characters, what a bigoted movie. Oh, sorry, perhaps the cat was...?
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