Night Train (I) (2023)
3/10
Night Mare
27 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This felt like an amateur-hour Lifetime TV movie/daytime Soap Opera combination, trying to pull off a Fast & Furious film, and clearly fail. Almost every character was written-in to be as annoying as possible - not saying the actors didn't try their best, considering the mess they were given to work with. At least Danielle C. Ryan was bearable and convincing in this role, unlike her character in Double Threat.

For starters, I've never seen an FBI agent be portrayed so sappy, useless, desperate, and as if they would be allowed to carry a gun as and alcoholic with endless bottles of booze always in her hand. Never mind making her character so trampy and desperate. A high school drama class could create better characters, and a story for that matter. Then the two female leads felt like they were competing who had bigger balls, both being unrealistic with their tough-act attitudes. Even some scenes with annoyingly irrelevant and infantile dialogue became cringeworthy quickly.

There were endless plot holes, riddled with unrealistic scenarios - almost as if zero research was done on how things actually are supposed to happen. There were missing parts to many scenes, not sure if the blame falls on the editor or the director, but certainly any decent director should pick-up on at least the obvious inconsistencies (like how may time does the one guy pull back the slide of his gun when it's already chambered the first time around, and never shot). Like I said, amateur-hour, and I should've known better, considering this duo - director Shane Stanley and writer CJ Walley gave us Double Threat, also starring the same two female leads, in another cringeworthy attempt at an action-thriller. I need to remember to stay away from any more of their films

I wouldn't even recommend this as a one-time watch, because it's that sappy and cheesy, and the characters are that annoying. It's a very generous 3/10, for some adequate cinematography and a surprisingly decent score, especially for a B film.
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