Blood Theatre (1984)
2/10
This has to be seem to be believed, and I've seen it and still don't quite believe it.
8 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
There's just bad, bad, and there's deliciously bad, and this is so magically deliciously bad that I could eat it all up like a bowl of cereal. The acting outside of cult movie queen Mary Woronov is negligible as far as being called acting, and she is obviously enjoying chewing the scenery around all these amateurs. She's the assistant to the new owner of a series of second-rate movie theaters in the San Fernando Valley, one of which was the scene of a horrific murder by Its former owner. When similar crimes begin to take place at the new theaters, they are extremely bizarre and tastelessly funny, including one of a theater employee being soaked up in hot buttered popcorn while others have the boring predictable old deaths of simply being stabbed.

With horror movies, I tend to give it about half an hour, and in many cases, don't make it much past that. This is so delightfully bad that I watch every waking moment of is 75 minutes, and while I wasn't laughing out loud at the hideousness or the tasteless humor, I was smirking enough to realize that I was actually having a good time. But having a good time and watching a good movie are two different things, and while the film isn't really gory, it's fun to watch for the way people are dispatched in it. There's one particular female employee of the new theater owner, showing up for work in tight final pants, that is without a doubt one of the worst actresses ever, and she's fun to laugh at even though she certainly is not deserving of any sympathy for what happens to her. The sound recording reminds me of a hideously bad adult film, so tinny in tone with its characters speaking with a grin in their voice as if aware they were speaking the type of dialogue they'd never see the likes of again. I give this an extra star just for its audacity. Without that, I would have skipped out a lot sooner.
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