5/10
Review Written after Episode 1
25 March 2023
As a fan of what, now, I suppose must be old-school Belgian noir, I rejoined Netflix. That streaming channel's violence quotient renders almost everything--sometimes including documentaries--unwatchable for me. But since I love me some Belgian noir, I rejoined.

This is going to be a long review. Please skip if you're not into long reviews.

The gold-standard for Belgian Noir is 2017's "The Break" or (en francais) "Le Treve." It is so good, I have sometimes rejoined Netflix specifically to rewatch only it. I watch it in the original French. But I sometimes will listen to an English-audio version, as I did here with Lauchhammer. I wonder if I'm the only one in Netflix-land to wonder if the same male English dubber is used in absolutely every French/German production? I'm not whistling Dixie, and so, if you watch this in English, take my word that the material is much less theatrical and high-strung in the original.

I keep saying, "French." I assume this production was made in the Wallonia region. When I hit "Play," the language went directly to French with English subtitles, not German.

The noir genre requires--*requires*--esthetically appealing atmosphere. "The Break" had enough atmosphere for fifteen seasons. Not "Lauchhammer." Swamps and moors (moors? In Wallonie?) don't cut it. The noir genre also requires pacing that introduces additional suspects at a slow pace. Holy crow! We're introduced to everyone and his or her mother-in-law as a potential killer here.

"The Break's" use of homeless squatters with dreadlocks was kept to a minimum in both that series' seasons. Homeless squatters are like mustard--perhaps tasty if used sparingly, depressing as all hell when made the focus, or seeming focus, of the plot.

Lastly, "The Break" *entertained.* That's a horrible word to use about the murders of two extremely endearing main characters (Seasons 1 and 2). However, the victim here seems merely a sullen Millennial. Anyone who recalls the heartbreaking Driss Assani, the African immigrant from Season 1, will recall that Driss was anything but a sullen Millennial.

The pile-on of characters, potential motives, possible baddies in just one episode proved too much for me. I intended to follow the series, because Juri was clearly the "Kevin" ("The Break") character here. The thing is that every blessed character in "The Break" was fascinating in his or her mixture of good and evil.

If the writers/producers of Lauchhammer were thinking to appeal to die-hard fans of "La Treve," oh, dear, as of Episode 1, you have gotten so many things wrong--including the politically correct, sparring female-male detective team. Annalena is SO not the beloved "Marjo" ("The Break").

Maybe I'll continue with it, maybe I won't. I do not need Sullen Millennial Cinema. Maybe that's what Netflix should rename itself: Sullen Millennial Cinema... in the Multiverse!
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