1/10
so insignificant it can't even be described as fluff - 1/10
8 July 2023
Imagine two grown women who have the combined IQ of a single schoolgirl. Imagine a string of failed relationships. Imagine an unhealthy interest in wicca and witchcraft because it's a safe-space and its somehow cool to tap into potentially malevolent forces.

Take these ingredients and send Vanessa Hudgens and Georgia Magree down to Salem to do some ghost-hunting. Add in various colorful Salem residents, let the pot boil for 98 (long) minutes and watch these two gullible characters become reborn and reinvigorated thanks to the accommodating business-people of Salem (who in no way profited with Ouija Board tuitions, book sales, wine sales, spiritual guidance, etc).

Watch two grown women bake cookies and over-share about how broken they are whilst dressing like they're 16. It's a truly inspiring tale that grinds The Patriarchy into the dirt and cannot be described as self-publicizing fluff for a Z-list actress and an obscure Australian-DJ.

Look out for the sequel next year where they set up a coven in LA where hi-jinks are aplenty.

If there's no Oscar nod next year for this masterpiece, I'm going to demand answers.
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