Review of Hoard

Hoard (2023)
3/10
Tries too hard
12 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Writer/director Luna Carmoon introduced this film at the 2023 London Film Festival by telling the audience she "hoped you find it unsettling". And it is true it contains sequences that had some audience members squirming in their seats. But this reviewer is afraid that rather than unsettling, he merely found it boring.

As a young child, Maria lives with her mother Cynthia, who is a hoarder, meaning their house is stuffed to the rafters with the rubbish Cynthia finds on all-night scavenging trips, as well as a ferret and nests of dead rats. An increasingly tedious first act is set in the exciting, rubbish-strewn world Cynthia creates for her daughter: the pair are undoubtedly close, but there is only so much noisy play-fights and primal screaming the audience can take. It comes as a relief when Cynthia is buried under a collapsing pile of her own rubbish; at last the story can move on.

Maria is taken into care and placed with Samantha Spiro, doing her working-class-heart-of-gold shtick. Several years later she has grown into the willowy form of Saura Lightfoot Leon and appears none the worse for her chaotic early years - until, that is, a former foster child, dustman Michael (Joseph Quinn), returns with an unconvincing tough-guy accent and a succession of grubby vests.

There are undoubtedly some stand-out moments in this: for instance, the initial coupling between Maria and Michael is almost by itself worth the price of admission for the bewildered expression on passive participant Michael's face. But every time the viewer is lulled into thinking the scenes of kitchen sink drama may lead to an increase in interest levels, up comes another overly-staged shot, or round of primal screaming, or characters acting too weird for words.

There is, it turns out, a method to the madness - but by then I had lost interest, feeling every one of the film's 126 minutes. Definitely an acquired taste!
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