Review of Thirst

Smallville: Thirst (2005)
Season 5, Episode 5
4/10
Worst Episode of the First Six Seasons
31 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Smallville hits an all-time low with this ridiculous episode. I suppose it was supposed to be a playful jab at the Buffy universe as "Angel" was Smallville's chief rival at the time. The episode was trying to be comedic, except that there wasn't anything funny.

Lana uncharacteristically decides to join a sorority and is soon transformed into a vampire-like creature. Of course, this is the non-mystical vampire via meteor rocks.

The writers had a brain aneurysm when they came up with this piece of garbage.

Never mind that Smallville has always had a problem with the distance between Smallville and Metropolis, as characters can travel between the two places (3 hours by car) in minutes. Lana is able to arrive at the Lex mansion just behind Clark who got there via superspeed. And then, of course, Lana never notices the massive syringe that Clark has when she takes him all the way back to the sorority house. Yeah, that's how sloppy this episode was. The writers should have been fired on the spot.

The only saving grace is Carrie Fisher's appearance (I wished she had been around for a few more episodes!), and the subplot with Milton Fine and Lex.

This is an episode you can definitely skip over without losing anything. Or, you can simply fast-forward to the Milton/Lex scenes. I will say that James Marsters scoffing at Clark's theory about vampires was actually quite good.
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