Lorenzo Lamas, the karate guy from the PM movies? It would have been something to see Don the Dragon Wilson in a dance movie.
Is that Ritchie from 'The Wanderers?' It appears that he's formed an underground 'Beat Street' graffiti gang after those boys vacated the basement.
If I'm not mistaken, is that Danny Wood there? He was quick to quit 'Body Rock' after this wrapped up and joined NKOTB as fast as he could. I can't blame him.
So, Tony Manero graduated from disco and is now scouring the basement from 'Beat Street' in search of a new fad, is he?
"Who's in the mood for some fresh breakin'?" I guess. If you say so, guy. Who else is down?
A rent-a-crowd gathers in the 'Beat Street' basement and watches a bunch of gnarly college grads doing all sorts of aerial moves, and was that Steve Urkel back there?
Who's the nuggety, thick white guy here sporting the moustache in sweats? He looks like he should be a blocker for Buffalo.
Okay, I'm not feeling it, 'Body Rock.'
This rent-a-crowd was the same one hired at the end of 'Purple Rain' from the looks of it. Body rocking or body hopping?
Tony Manero meets the love interest early - his best friend's sister - and she's a Teri Hatcher clone in her own quirky way.
Holy crap, the robot from 'Rocky 4?' Not that again. I don't want to be reminded of Uncle Paulie's pansexual fetishes.
Tony Manero plays an unemployed bum who attends job interviews in rags and suspenders handed down to him by Ozone as he's such a charity case freeloader.
This movie's pulse is on life support after only a few minutes. What fresh breakin'?
There's no atmosphere, and the soundtrack so far is poorly chosen.
Tony Manero convinces a talent scout to access his crew for potential future gigs, and this is exactly what Kenny's agent did in 'Beat Street.' What was it again? "Come down to the Roxy," or something?
Is that Vanilla Ice rapping on stage there with Manero? They can't flow for shish kebabs, and it comes across as too mono, like it's a school pageant for shy boys.
This is just spare room-in-hell stuff. I hope it picks up the slack. It's downright boring. Where's the sound? It doesn't help that it's in 260p quality either.
Rocky brings Adrian to his shabby apartment again, and little is she aware that his other girlfriend is asleep in another room.
This movie can only be identified through DNA or dental records.
What's anyone's objective or reason for getting out of bed in this movie?
Are all these actors intentionally unenthused because they didn't make the cut to be in 'Beat Street?' Come on, look alive, movie!
Look, is that not Travoltra from 'Staying Alive' right there? I rest my case.
Decomposed body rot.
"It don't bother me, 'cause I'm tough."
It's Daft Punk and that annoying "Around the World" song again.
What is this?
Let the bodies drop.
Yo? What, are you in grade school? Didn't some singer say in that MTV Rapumentary, "It's not yo, what's up, dude? It's all about intelligence, in-telligence," then went on to sing, "Yo, 'cause I'm the teacher, your Scott is a scholar?" Intelligent, eh?
I have 50 more minutes of this crap to go.
There's nothing to report.
It's just a bunch of unemployed college graduates refusing to work for a living and trying to secure a music or dance contract to make it on Broadway, but they have no actual skill or talent. They're just bombers and bums.
The only reason I'm going to give this a 1/10 rating is because of the title song.
Around the 45-minute mark, 'Body Rock' tries to be 'The Warriors' for a short time, then Tony Manero advertises his new trench coat directly to the camera like it's a commercial. Don't play to the crowd, you fool. You're supposed to be in a motion picture, not acknowledging a live TV audience.
I may have missed it, but with no talent, Tony Manero somehow secures a contract, becomes 'Rocky 2' and buys fancy clothes, then decides to let it all go to his head and cheats on his new girlfriend, dumps his second girlfriend, and moves in with an over-50s model from Fort Lauderdale.
Hey, Mr. Director, fella? Did you ever hear that song, "Wake up, you're asleep at the wheel?" Well, were you?
It's Perry from 'The Wanderers.' So, he didn't last long in San Francisco and raced back to the east coast as fast as he could, eh? I bet it was that pipsqueak, Joey, who drove him to drink after only a few days.
This has to be the worst thing I've watched in 2023.
What is this "Smooth Talking" solo, and why is he sweating so badly when he's just standing there idle? Nervous, are we, guy?
"I'm gonna stuff you like an animal and eat you like a cannibal." Really?
Um, Tony Manero goes solo, ditches his Body Rock crew, and somehow makes it to the top overnight with that one song, "Smooth Talking." Now the world's at his feet, and he's #1 on the charts with an EP coming out this April Fool's Day.
Decomposed deposit sketches.
Is this movie for real?
I probably owe 'Breakin' and 'Breakin' 2' an apology for mocking them in my past two reviews.
Tony Manero loses it all in a day, though, because the CEO of Clown Records gets fresh with him, so he punches him out and causes a ruckus over it.
Manero mopes into depression as his star only shines for a day. Burning all his bridges, even the Over 50s slag severs ties with the loser.
Is this the part where he jumps on a Septa and gets off at Allegheny in search of Needle Park's harvested veterinarian medicine and becomes an addict?
Where are all the opposing gangs of New York to knock some sense into this clown? Are Body Rock the only bad boys in town?
Tony Manero becomes a pariah and just broods around in his only trench coat like a loser.
Not one thing in this movie has elevated my heart rate so far.
Again with the "Smooth Talking" crap? You're looping repeats already, movie? Aren't there any other songs?
Tony Manero takes a stage performer hostage at the end, and a siege unfolds but soon turns into a concert for criminals and hooligans where everyone starts celebrating human rights violations, or something, I dunno. I'm bamboozled. This movie is an enigma. It's baseless.
Adrian enters the ring at the end again and tells Rocky that she's totally devoted to his cheating ways, and this movie's climax is an impotent explosion of no moisture with a bonus rubber chicken in a stocking full of coal and a cooked turkey delivered DOA and thirty minutes late.
'Body Rock' surely has to be the hot favorite to take out the next Razzie Award.
WHAT TRASH.
Be careful not to tread in this one, people. You'd be better off watching 'Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.'
Is that Ritchie from 'The Wanderers?' It appears that he's formed an underground 'Beat Street' graffiti gang after those boys vacated the basement.
If I'm not mistaken, is that Danny Wood there? He was quick to quit 'Body Rock' after this wrapped up and joined NKOTB as fast as he could. I can't blame him.
So, Tony Manero graduated from disco and is now scouring the basement from 'Beat Street' in search of a new fad, is he?
"Who's in the mood for some fresh breakin'?" I guess. If you say so, guy. Who else is down?
A rent-a-crowd gathers in the 'Beat Street' basement and watches a bunch of gnarly college grads doing all sorts of aerial moves, and was that Steve Urkel back there?
Who's the nuggety, thick white guy here sporting the moustache in sweats? He looks like he should be a blocker for Buffalo.
Okay, I'm not feeling it, 'Body Rock.'
This rent-a-crowd was the same one hired at the end of 'Purple Rain' from the looks of it. Body rocking or body hopping?
Tony Manero meets the love interest early - his best friend's sister - and she's a Teri Hatcher clone in her own quirky way.
Holy crap, the robot from 'Rocky 4?' Not that again. I don't want to be reminded of Uncle Paulie's pansexual fetishes.
Tony Manero plays an unemployed bum who attends job interviews in rags and suspenders handed down to him by Ozone as he's such a charity case freeloader.
This movie's pulse is on life support after only a few minutes. What fresh breakin'?
There's no atmosphere, and the soundtrack so far is poorly chosen.
Tony Manero convinces a talent scout to access his crew for potential future gigs, and this is exactly what Kenny's agent did in 'Beat Street.' What was it again? "Come down to the Roxy," or something?
Is that Vanilla Ice rapping on stage there with Manero? They can't flow for shish kebabs, and it comes across as too mono, like it's a school pageant for shy boys.
This is just spare room-in-hell stuff. I hope it picks up the slack. It's downright boring. Where's the sound? It doesn't help that it's in 260p quality either.
Rocky brings Adrian to his shabby apartment again, and little is she aware that his other girlfriend is asleep in another room.
This movie can only be identified through DNA or dental records.
What's anyone's objective or reason for getting out of bed in this movie?
Are all these actors intentionally unenthused because they didn't make the cut to be in 'Beat Street?' Come on, look alive, movie!
Look, is that not Travoltra from 'Staying Alive' right there? I rest my case.
Decomposed body rot.
"It don't bother me, 'cause I'm tough."
It's Daft Punk and that annoying "Around the World" song again.
What is this?
Let the bodies drop.
Yo? What, are you in grade school? Didn't some singer say in that MTV Rapumentary, "It's not yo, what's up, dude? It's all about intelligence, in-telligence," then went on to sing, "Yo, 'cause I'm the teacher, your Scott is a scholar?" Intelligent, eh?
I have 50 more minutes of this crap to go.
There's nothing to report.
It's just a bunch of unemployed college graduates refusing to work for a living and trying to secure a music or dance contract to make it on Broadway, but they have no actual skill or talent. They're just bombers and bums.
The only reason I'm going to give this a 1/10 rating is because of the title song.
Around the 45-minute mark, 'Body Rock' tries to be 'The Warriors' for a short time, then Tony Manero advertises his new trench coat directly to the camera like it's a commercial. Don't play to the crowd, you fool. You're supposed to be in a motion picture, not acknowledging a live TV audience.
I may have missed it, but with no talent, Tony Manero somehow secures a contract, becomes 'Rocky 2' and buys fancy clothes, then decides to let it all go to his head and cheats on his new girlfriend, dumps his second girlfriend, and moves in with an over-50s model from Fort Lauderdale.
Hey, Mr. Director, fella? Did you ever hear that song, "Wake up, you're asleep at the wheel?" Well, were you?
It's Perry from 'The Wanderers.' So, he didn't last long in San Francisco and raced back to the east coast as fast as he could, eh? I bet it was that pipsqueak, Joey, who drove him to drink after only a few days.
This has to be the worst thing I've watched in 2023.
What is this "Smooth Talking" solo, and why is he sweating so badly when he's just standing there idle? Nervous, are we, guy?
"I'm gonna stuff you like an animal and eat you like a cannibal." Really?
Um, Tony Manero goes solo, ditches his Body Rock crew, and somehow makes it to the top overnight with that one song, "Smooth Talking." Now the world's at his feet, and he's #1 on the charts with an EP coming out this April Fool's Day.
Decomposed deposit sketches.
Is this movie for real?
I probably owe 'Breakin' and 'Breakin' 2' an apology for mocking them in my past two reviews.
Tony Manero loses it all in a day, though, because the CEO of Clown Records gets fresh with him, so he punches him out and causes a ruckus over it.
Manero mopes into depression as his star only shines for a day. Burning all his bridges, even the Over 50s slag severs ties with the loser.
Is this the part where he jumps on a Septa and gets off at Allegheny in search of Needle Park's harvested veterinarian medicine and becomes an addict?
Where are all the opposing gangs of New York to knock some sense into this clown? Are Body Rock the only bad boys in town?
Tony Manero becomes a pariah and just broods around in his only trench coat like a loser.
Not one thing in this movie has elevated my heart rate so far.
Again with the "Smooth Talking" crap? You're looping repeats already, movie? Aren't there any other songs?
Tony Manero takes a stage performer hostage at the end, and a siege unfolds but soon turns into a concert for criminals and hooligans where everyone starts celebrating human rights violations, or something, I dunno. I'm bamboozled. This movie is an enigma. It's baseless.
Adrian enters the ring at the end again and tells Rocky that she's totally devoted to his cheating ways, and this movie's climax is an impotent explosion of no moisture with a bonus rubber chicken in a stocking full of coal and a cooked turkey delivered DOA and thirty minutes late.
'Body Rock' surely has to be the hot favorite to take out the next Razzie Award.
WHAT TRASH.
Be careful not to tread in this one, people. You'd be better off watching 'Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.'