This year saw the release of not only Cocaine Bear...but a series of D-grade, ultra low budget spinoffs, like Cocaine Cougar...and, of course, this piece of Polonia produced trash...Cocaine Shark.
Which is not exactly what you'd think it would be, judging by the image on the poster...ie a giant shark, high on cocaine.
Rather, cocaine is spiked with some sort of bio-chemical, derived from sharks, that makes addicts hallucinate that they are shark-like humanoid creatures.
Or, more inexplicably, "crab sharks"...which manifest with a combination of shark and "crab" features (though they are more lobster like, in actuality).
On top of this iconic creativity...it features the piss poor dialogue you'd expect from a homemade horror...and some of the worst acting to ever grace the screen.
But the creatures- rendered with stop motion- are actually kind of cool.
In a lame sort of way.
But that doesn't make the title any less misleading.
Whether you like it (and why would you?), or not, this is sort of trash that Polonia has made a name for himself doing.
Leaving you to wonder how he actually manages to fund these projects.
My guess, would be from the overtime shifts at his McDonald's job.
But you've got to admire his passion.
Because there's no doubt he knows he sucks at making films...but doesn't let that slow him down.
As he shamelessly persists to produce worse and worse films...that are somewhat, laughably, entertaining.
Luckily, this one is relatively short.
So it's not to much of a burden to watch...when you want to get your cinemasochism on.
2 out of 10.
Which is not exactly what you'd think it would be, judging by the image on the poster...ie a giant shark, high on cocaine.
Rather, cocaine is spiked with some sort of bio-chemical, derived from sharks, that makes addicts hallucinate that they are shark-like humanoid creatures.
Or, more inexplicably, "crab sharks"...which manifest with a combination of shark and "crab" features (though they are more lobster like, in actuality).
On top of this iconic creativity...it features the piss poor dialogue you'd expect from a homemade horror...and some of the worst acting to ever grace the screen.
But the creatures- rendered with stop motion- are actually kind of cool.
In a lame sort of way.
But that doesn't make the title any less misleading.
Whether you like it (and why would you?), or not, this is sort of trash that Polonia has made a name for himself doing.
Leaving you to wonder how he actually manages to fund these projects.
My guess, would be from the overtime shifts at his McDonald's job.
But you've got to admire his passion.
Because there's no doubt he knows he sucks at making films...but doesn't let that slow him down.
As he shamelessly persists to produce worse and worse films...that are somewhat, laughably, entertaining.
Luckily, this one is relatively short.
So it's not to much of a burden to watch...when you want to get your cinemasochism on.
2 out of 10.