laynboy Review of Holiday in the Vineyards

Holiday in the Vineyards (2023)

Would rather watch paint dry, loading bars load, or grass grow.

[2/10 · 19 December 2023]

Very rarely do I leave negative reviews. The Room had better story and plot. Wait, is this a Tommy Wiseau film? Nope; well Alex is following in Tommy's footsteps. Highly doubt this becomes a cult classic though. Drudging on, every character in this film lives in some sort of alternate reality where the forces of our own bear no weight on them. Even the most privileged of people in the reality we live in have more self awareness and social awareness than any character in this film. Now to criticize the actual people from our own plane of existence; the director, producers, and anybody who made a decision in the production of this film floundered in a sea of opportunity. Every scene was just scraping the surface of what could have made for actual entertainment or funny dialog, but alas it was watered down. On the scale of pasteurized milk, this film is a 0%.