If it's from the 1960s, then rest assured, there's nothing to fear with this movie. Weren't they raised to believe in UFOs?
It looks like Tommy Lee Jones just escaped a two-story house from the movie 'Manos: Hands of Fate' and then just wandered the streets in the wee hours, thankful that he didn't have to participate in that movie.
Was this recorded in mechanical television format?
The quality of this movie is just atomic. What in hell have I signed up for tonight? This movie is leaking radiation poison and was sealed in asbestos.
It looks like it was filmed on an overhead projector, and if it overheats, fallout is immediately released.
The Tommy Lee Jones clone, Paul, drunkenly stumbles into a 24-hour furniture store and buys a mirror on impulse.
Apparently this mirror is possessed by a demon, or demons plural.
Oh, not this again! Satanic lessons in black magic that I have to translate? This is the third time in six months that I've attempted to do this. A bunch of scholars sit around an apartment building telling ghost stories, and this Dr. Sorell fella names off all these demons' names.
Get a load of this.
Bail and Forkus demon (already, Word is telling me there's no such word as Forkus.) Markorsias (he's a Greek soccer player turned occult.) Bur, Astarop, Bee'Him'Off, Assmodius, and Thintus.
Word's having a field day with all my typos. So, they're not real names.
Again, fifteen minutes in, and no plot has even been laid for this garbage other than some drunk buying a mirror and this is all brought to you by Quadruplex videotape quality vision.
A horse-drawn cart, powered by steam, is run off the road, and I'm hoping that annoying actor, Paul, doesn't pull through. He started to turn blue before the incident, so all signs were positive.
I think my taxidermy head mounted on a wall plaque like a deer would look good in my room. The text engraved would read "survived by the horrible movies that murdered him."
Let's go check what other people have rated this on IMDb. If I see anything higher than one, then I truly am not educated and have been left behind. 6.4/10 overall? Good God. Serious?
My Lord, there are high ratings for this movie, and only 16 people have contributed. This is not a 10/10 movie, nor is it a 9 either. I'm guessing the people who reviewed those ratings were participants in the filming crew and cast.
I'm glad I wasn't reared on 60s TV.
P'worrr, another wasted night on horrible entertainment that wasn't designed for me.
This movie's like the science classes I never paid attention to back in high school. (It was always math after science for some reason.)
I'm sure there are a few fossils out there who view this movie as the way of the future. They probably watch the boxsets of 'Petticoat Junction' and 'Hogan's Heroes' religiously, too.
Barbara becomes a widow overnight due to the silly flat wagon wheel accident, and the dumb mirror purchased at the beginning acts as some sort of Mario Brothers warp zone to the land of the dead, where the blue fella keeps turning red. She enters the damn thing to make love to a dead man.
The fact that this is playing on my DVD player and insulting my senses is irreversible psychological damage, not to mention that I own this movie.
50 minutes in, and I've already rated it 1/10.
Nothing can save this movie.
11 minutes have since passed the 50-minute mark, and I'm still sitting here stunned and unable to contribute anything worthwhile to my review as this is just holding me up from going to bed.
There's nothing worthwhile to write down in my report as nothing's happening. They're just standing around talking all the time.
I just fed my cats, and it hit me when I was pouring the kibble that the only people who would find this movie scary are senior citizens with dementia or the elderly who have passed away already and are fortunate enough not to have to endure this movie anymore. It's a corpse that was buried in the early 70s that doesn't belong in 2024.
If this movie becomes obsolete a thousand years from now and a scientist extracts a mosquito from -
Never mind.
A psychologist named Dr. Sorell steals most of the limelight with his dry acting, and do I detect a French or German accent? He plays detective in search of answers - to what, who knows? I guess the shady taxation details for the mirror purchase or the contents of a reel-to-reel tape recording that contains a group of Jonestown members vying to be Jim Jones second in command? It's all debatable and left to interpretation.
Elsewhere, Barbara, the horrible co-star, drugged for most of the movie, is all set to wed the dead blue guy, Paul, even though he perished in the wagon incident on Highway 73.
Apparently this movie appeared on Chicago TV under the banner of The Light at Night, Movies All Night channel. If it's a pay TV channel, I'd be canceling my subscription immediately.
Can I sue this movie for lost time?
Nope! I can't take any more of this!
Putrid.
A commercial claimed that the first-place Miami Dolphins are taking on the Baltimore Colts this weekend. So, Baltimore was once known as the Browns? And the Browns were originally the Cleveland Panthers? Where's the loyalty? Well, then, who were the Oilers?
Never mind.
Tip Top, Mr. Big natural unbleached flour and no preservatives added are on sale and are baked for 8 hours as if grandma were watching. In stores now. Hurry while stocks last. The offer ends in 1970. It's a good bet all the loafs will be blue-molded by now, right?
This movie and its commercials have been brought to you by WMAQ-TV Chicago.
If this was the crap they were watching in Chicago back in 1969, then heaven help them.
I don't even know why I awarded this movie a point in my rating either.
It looks like Tommy Lee Jones just escaped a two-story house from the movie 'Manos: Hands of Fate' and then just wandered the streets in the wee hours, thankful that he didn't have to participate in that movie.
Was this recorded in mechanical television format?
The quality of this movie is just atomic. What in hell have I signed up for tonight? This movie is leaking radiation poison and was sealed in asbestos.
It looks like it was filmed on an overhead projector, and if it overheats, fallout is immediately released.
The Tommy Lee Jones clone, Paul, drunkenly stumbles into a 24-hour furniture store and buys a mirror on impulse.
Apparently this mirror is possessed by a demon, or demons plural.
Oh, not this again! Satanic lessons in black magic that I have to translate? This is the third time in six months that I've attempted to do this. A bunch of scholars sit around an apartment building telling ghost stories, and this Dr. Sorell fella names off all these demons' names.
Get a load of this.
Bail and Forkus demon (already, Word is telling me there's no such word as Forkus.) Markorsias (he's a Greek soccer player turned occult.) Bur, Astarop, Bee'Him'Off, Assmodius, and Thintus.
Word's having a field day with all my typos. So, they're not real names.
Again, fifteen minutes in, and no plot has even been laid for this garbage other than some drunk buying a mirror and this is all brought to you by Quadruplex videotape quality vision.
A horse-drawn cart, powered by steam, is run off the road, and I'm hoping that annoying actor, Paul, doesn't pull through. He started to turn blue before the incident, so all signs were positive.
I think my taxidermy head mounted on a wall plaque like a deer would look good in my room. The text engraved would read "survived by the horrible movies that murdered him."
Let's go check what other people have rated this on IMDb. If I see anything higher than one, then I truly am not educated and have been left behind. 6.4/10 overall? Good God. Serious?
My Lord, there are high ratings for this movie, and only 16 people have contributed. This is not a 10/10 movie, nor is it a 9 either. I'm guessing the people who reviewed those ratings were participants in the filming crew and cast.
I'm glad I wasn't reared on 60s TV.
P'worrr, another wasted night on horrible entertainment that wasn't designed for me.
This movie's like the science classes I never paid attention to back in high school. (It was always math after science for some reason.)
I'm sure there are a few fossils out there who view this movie as the way of the future. They probably watch the boxsets of 'Petticoat Junction' and 'Hogan's Heroes' religiously, too.
Barbara becomes a widow overnight due to the silly flat wagon wheel accident, and the dumb mirror purchased at the beginning acts as some sort of Mario Brothers warp zone to the land of the dead, where the blue fella keeps turning red. She enters the damn thing to make love to a dead man.
The fact that this is playing on my DVD player and insulting my senses is irreversible psychological damage, not to mention that I own this movie.
50 minutes in, and I've already rated it 1/10.
Nothing can save this movie.
11 minutes have since passed the 50-minute mark, and I'm still sitting here stunned and unable to contribute anything worthwhile to my review as this is just holding me up from going to bed.
There's nothing worthwhile to write down in my report as nothing's happening. They're just standing around talking all the time.
I just fed my cats, and it hit me when I was pouring the kibble that the only people who would find this movie scary are senior citizens with dementia or the elderly who have passed away already and are fortunate enough not to have to endure this movie anymore. It's a corpse that was buried in the early 70s that doesn't belong in 2024.
If this movie becomes obsolete a thousand years from now and a scientist extracts a mosquito from -
Never mind.
A psychologist named Dr. Sorell steals most of the limelight with his dry acting, and do I detect a French or German accent? He plays detective in search of answers - to what, who knows? I guess the shady taxation details for the mirror purchase or the contents of a reel-to-reel tape recording that contains a group of Jonestown members vying to be Jim Jones second in command? It's all debatable and left to interpretation.
Elsewhere, Barbara, the horrible co-star, drugged for most of the movie, is all set to wed the dead blue guy, Paul, even though he perished in the wagon incident on Highway 73.
Apparently this movie appeared on Chicago TV under the banner of The Light at Night, Movies All Night channel. If it's a pay TV channel, I'd be canceling my subscription immediately.
Can I sue this movie for lost time?
Nope! I can't take any more of this!
Putrid.
A commercial claimed that the first-place Miami Dolphins are taking on the Baltimore Colts this weekend. So, Baltimore was once known as the Browns? And the Browns were originally the Cleveland Panthers? Where's the loyalty? Well, then, who were the Oilers?
Never mind.
Tip Top, Mr. Big natural unbleached flour and no preservatives added are on sale and are baked for 8 hours as if grandma were watching. In stores now. Hurry while stocks last. The offer ends in 1970. It's a good bet all the loafs will be blue-molded by now, right?
This movie and its commercials have been brought to you by WMAQ-TV Chicago.
If this was the crap they were watching in Chicago back in 1969, then heaven help them.
I don't even know why I awarded this movie a point in my rating either.