When you look at Dr. Robotnik and his vast array of inventions that never succeed in taking over Mobius or, at the very least, eliminating a certain blue hedgehog, you have to wonder if this guy was ever a serious threat. The obvious answer is no, he's a total buffoon. So, maybe an outside party with some slick gadgets of their own could help him get a leg up, and that's what happens in today's episode of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog... and that's all that happens, because this one has no story or plot. Yeah, it was written by 3 people and yet there's no plot or story anywhere. It also gives us the introduction of a very annoying recurring character, and by the end, you won't know who to root for. It all began when Robotnik was firing off insults at his two incompetent lackies for failing to catch Sonic, just like always. This is a problem when your henchmen are robots and not living beings. With living beings, like say, Bebop and Rocksteady from Ninja Turtles, or Bulk and Skull from Power Rangers, there's not much you can do about their ineptitude. They're living beings who are naturally stupid and too stubborn to change. With robots like Scratch and Grounder, Robotnik could easily upgrade their intelligence and program them to be more competent at their objectives. But then we've already established that Robotnik himself is an idiot, so that's why he's made no progress. But perhaps someone might come along to help him get an edge. Enter Wes Weasely, an annoying, fast-talking salesman, an overdone stereotype that was everywhere back in the day. He represents the Handy Dandy Super Villain Appliance Distributors Limited, which he literally spells out. His song and dance wins over Robotnik, showing that Weasely is about to enjoy an early retirement. So what's in this arsenal of super villain appliances? First up is the Darkenator, a machine that makes dark where there's light. Ah, ripping off Dr. Seuss I see. Anyone who's seen The Cat in the Hat Gets Grinched will recognize this as one of the Grinch's inventions: the Dark House (opposite of a lighthouse). The doc pays 100,000 big ones for it, with two sets of infrared goggles thrown in. Oh, with this at his disposal, Sonic will have to slow down, right? Yeah, well, if you just spent 100,000 Mobiums on something, why would you then trust idiots like Scratch and Grounder with it? That's exactly what Robotnik does: he tasks the nincombots to use it on Sonic. They predictably mess it up, as for some reason it doesn't take up the entire screen like it did when Weasely demonstrated it, and they can't find the infrared goggles so they're literally in the dark. When Sonic spots them, he causes them to destroy the machine and says what we're all thinking: "What a couple'a dumbots." Now what I find interesting is that Weasely claims the machine was tampered with, but that's never followed up on. Who would tamper with it and why? Just tell the truth: the dummies didn't use it right. Alright, so what's that snake oil salesman got next? Why it's a Freezebanger, a machine that fires frozen blasts of ice. Botsy takes two. And yet again, tasks Scratch and Grounder with using them. It's at this point I think that Robotnik is a masochist who just likes watching his own inventions screw up just so he can get angry about it. Should I even bother to say what happens? The two Tweedle Dums aim the Freezebangers at Sonic, he jumps, they freeze each other. As an added measure, Sonic runs a fire figure 8 around the frozen blockheads, and they melt. Yeah, they melt away. Good nightmare fuel for the children. They're melting, they're melting. Oh, what a world, what a world.
For some reason, Dr. Robotnik solidifies his liquidated lackeys... like I said, he's a masochist. Determined to bilk this moronic super villain out of his last dime, Wes Weasely unveils his next gadget: the Gravity Stopper, which will render anyone in its path weightless, with two pairs of self-gravity boots included. Look, just zap Scratch and Grounder and watch them float away, it'll save you the trouble. I think Sonic is just as bored of this episode as I am, because as Tails just wants to sit and rest, he runs around like a small child on a sugar and caffeine rush. But then all he does is run around and show off anyway. Okay, so here come Grounder and Scratch, let's see them bungle things up again. Well, at first, they succeed: they blast Sonic and Tails, making them weightless, and Sonic even delivers a funny line: "I'm weightless", said in the same tone of "I'm waiting" which I hate, so points to the writers for a funny joke. The robots gloat that their nemesis is stuck, until Sonic points out that Tails can just fly him away, then he dares the two of them to remove their boots and come after them. At first, they don't buy it, so it looks like we actually have some tension and Sonic will have to rely on his own wits and ingenuity to get out of this fix. No, because this script was scribbled out on a legal pad in an afternoon, he just tricks Scratch into removing his boots to go up after them. Now he's trapped, and Grounder has to shut off the machine to free him. They crash into each other, with Sonic remarking, "that's life, fellas: ups and downs, up and downs." Yeah, just like this show, ups and downs, and right now, this is a big down. Well, we've got time for one more gadget, let's see what it is and then easily predict how it goes awry. Weasely unveils the Deatomizer, anything it zaps will instantly vanish, and then reappear wherever you want it, though he warns Botsy not to touch the red switch. This time, he forces Weasely to go with Grounder and Scratch to use the device. When Sonic shows up, they predictably hit the red switch, and instead of vanishing Sonic, they clone him, so now there's five. They chase off the bots with a giant popcorn ball, then threaten to put the salesman in jail if his invention isn't reversible. No, just put him in jail anyway, or better yet, the nuthouse. He manages to compress the five Sonics back into one, then they plan to put one over on Robotnik, who was venting his frustrations out on his bots. Well, what did you expect, you inflated blimp? That's when Sonic shows up, dressed as a shark salesman... no, he's not selling sharks, he is a shark. He gives Botsy a song and dance about a new machine, which was all of Weasely's previous machines combined, all doing to Robotnik what he tried to do to Sonic: putting him in the dark, freezing him, making him float, making he, Scratch and Grounder disappear, and finally, reappearing and reorganizing their heads, torsos, and appendages. Our story doesn't really have a moral, mainly because we had no story. Our Sonic Says demonstrates the old adage: if it sounds too good to be true, it's probably false, and we see Weasely sucker poor Tails out of a hundred bucks over a robot toy.
That was "Birth of a Salesman", though I wish it was "Death of a Salesman", and I'm not talking about the movie or play. Wes Weasely is here to stay, having a handful more appearances, usually trying to swindle Robotnik, and he's such an easy target, isn't he? Now what's interesting is that all of his machines actually worked, so he's not entirely dishonest. Same thing happens in this episode's sequel: "Magic Hassle", where Coconuts gets to be the one to foul things up. The spells all worked, it was just the wielder who misused them. Doesn't mean Weasely isn't a giant crook though. The character was based off Phil Silvers, most notably Ernie Bilko, and the salesman stereotype was everywhere back in the day: Garfield & Friends, first season of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, even the Jumanji animated series had a jungle salesman, voiced by Tim Curry, by the way. Now as far as this episode of Adventures, the writing was very poor, and it took three people: Bruce Shelly, Reed Shelly, and Steven J. Fisher to combine their lack-of-effort into this mess. No plot, no story, just non-stop idiocy and annoyance. This was just a filler, quota episode. They needed a grand total of 65, not all of them can have substance, some just need to be a waste, and that's what this was. Okay, to be fair, this series never inspired to be deep, edgy, or have a message like the Saturday version, this was just meant to be noisy fun to entertain the kids during the week. Obviously little kids find Scratch and Grounder to be funny. Now what makes Sonic the hero of our show is that only he has the power and the might to overthrow the villain threatening humanity, but when the villain is as big of an idiot as Dr. Robotnik, it doesn't seem like he's a big threat. In closing, I don't recommend "Birth of a Salesman", it's not funny and it's boring. The writing is horrible, the voice acting is horrible, the animation is... standard for this series, it's just a waste.
For some reason, Dr. Robotnik solidifies his liquidated lackeys... like I said, he's a masochist. Determined to bilk this moronic super villain out of his last dime, Wes Weasely unveils his next gadget: the Gravity Stopper, which will render anyone in its path weightless, with two pairs of self-gravity boots included. Look, just zap Scratch and Grounder and watch them float away, it'll save you the trouble. I think Sonic is just as bored of this episode as I am, because as Tails just wants to sit and rest, he runs around like a small child on a sugar and caffeine rush. But then all he does is run around and show off anyway. Okay, so here come Grounder and Scratch, let's see them bungle things up again. Well, at first, they succeed: they blast Sonic and Tails, making them weightless, and Sonic even delivers a funny line: "I'm weightless", said in the same tone of "I'm waiting" which I hate, so points to the writers for a funny joke. The robots gloat that their nemesis is stuck, until Sonic points out that Tails can just fly him away, then he dares the two of them to remove their boots and come after them. At first, they don't buy it, so it looks like we actually have some tension and Sonic will have to rely on his own wits and ingenuity to get out of this fix. No, because this script was scribbled out on a legal pad in an afternoon, he just tricks Scratch into removing his boots to go up after them. Now he's trapped, and Grounder has to shut off the machine to free him. They crash into each other, with Sonic remarking, "that's life, fellas: ups and downs, up and downs." Yeah, just like this show, ups and downs, and right now, this is a big down. Well, we've got time for one more gadget, let's see what it is and then easily predict how it goes awry. Weasely unveils the Deatomizer, anything it zaps will instantly vanish, and then reappear wherever you want it, though he warns Botsy not to touch the red switch. This time, he forces Weasely to go with Grounder and Scratch to use the device. When Sonic shows up, they predictably hit the red switch, and instead of vanishing Sonic, they clone him, so now there's five. They chase off the bots with a giant popcorn ball, then threaten to put the salesman in jail if his invention isn't reversible. No, just put him in jail anyway, or better yet, the nuthouse. He manages to compress the five Sonics back into one, then they plan to put one over on Robotnik, who was venting his frustrations out on his bots. Well, what did you expect, you inflated blimp? That's when Sonic shows up, dressed as a shark salesman... no, he's not selling sharks, he is a shark. He gives Botsy a song and dance about a new machine, which was all of Weasely's previous machines combined, all doing to Robotnik what he tried to do to Sonic: putting him in the dark, freezing him, making him float, making he, Scratch and Grounder disappear, and finally, reappearing and reorganizing their heads, torsos, and appendages. Our story doesn't really have a moral, mainly because we had no story. Our Sonic Says demonstrates the old adage: if it sounds too good to be true, it's probably false, and we see Weasely sucker poor Tails out of a hundred bucks over a robot toy.
That was "Birth of a Salesman", though I wish it was "Death of a Salesman", and I'm not talking about the movie or play. Wes Weasely is here to stay, having a handful more appearances, usually trying to swindle Robotnik, and he's such an easy target, isn't he? Now what's interesting is that all of his machines actually worked, so he's not entirely dishonest. Same thing happens in this episode's sequel: "Magic Hassle", where Coconuts gets to be the one to foul things up. The spells all worked, it was just the wielder who misused them. Doesn't mean Weasely isn't a giant crook though. The character was based off Phil Silvers, most notably Ernie Bilko, and the salesman stereotype was everywhere back in the day: Garfield & Friends, first season of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, even the Jumanji animated series had a jungle salesman, voiced by Tim Curry, by the way. Now as far as this episode of Adventures, the writing was very poor, and it took three people: Bruce Shelly, Reed Shelly, and Steven J. Fisher to combine their lack-of-effort into this mess. No plot, no story, just non-stop idiocy and annoyance. This was just a filler, quota episode. They needed a grand total of 65, not all of them can have substance, some just need to be a waste, and that's what this was. Okay, to be fair, this series never inspired to be deep, edgy, or have a message like the Saturday version, this was just meant to be noisy fun to entertain the kids during the week. Obviously little kids find Scratch and Grounder to be funny. Now what makes Sonic the hero of our show is that only he has the power and the might to overthrow the villain threatening humanity, but when the villain is as big of an idiot as Dr. Robotnik, it doesn't seem like he's a big threat. In closing, I don't recommend "Birth of a Salesman", it's not funny and it's boring. The writing is horrible, the voice acting is horrible, the animation is... standard for this series, it's just a waste.