Dizzy Detectives (1943)

Curly Howard: Curly

Quotes 

• Moe : Next time you handle a gun, shoot yourself in the head.

  Curly : I'll make a note of it. How do you spell head?

  Moe : B-O-N-E. head!

  [he whacks him in the head with a gun and the gun bends] 

• Curly : I don't wanna be dead. There's no future in it!

• Moe : Now, let me see. The door goes on the right.

  [looking at his hands] 

  Moe : Right.

  Curly : [stopping him]  Wait a minute. The man said the door goes on the right.

  [he points to his own right, Moe's left] 

  Moe : [holding up his fist]  What's this?

  Curly : A fist.

  Moe : [bonking him on the head]  Right or left?

  [Curly thinks] 

  Moe : Oh, ignorant, eh?

  [bonking him again] 

  Moe : Now, listen, grapehead. I'll explain it so even you can understand it. Now, here.

  [moving Curly to his side] 

  Moe : Get over here. Now, when I say "go", we both point to the right. Go!

  [they point in opposite directions] 

  Moe : Hey, porcupine. Come here. Point to the right for this chump, will you?

  [Larry points to his right, which, based on his position, is in a different direction] 

  Curly : See?

  Moe : [slapping them both]  Get busy.

• Moe : Where's your gun?

  Curly : Gun? Oh! The landlady's baby was cryin', so I gave it to the baby to play with.

• Moe : [whispering]  It's that crook and he's wearin' a fur coat! Come on!

  [the Stooges come up and Moe gets the gorilla's attention by kicking him in the butt. The Stooges all point their guns at the gorilla] 

  Moe : Stick 'em up, Ape Man! We gotcha covered!

  [the gorilla destroys the Stooges' guns] 

  Moe : Hey, fellas! Look! No human is strong enough to bend a gun barrel like that!

  Curly : It's real! A real chimmanypanzee!

  Larry : That's no chimp, ya chump! That's a gorilla!

• Curly : That ox can't call me a monkey!

  Moe : Shut up you baboon!

  [Curly sticks his tongue at Moe while Moe puts a clothespin on his tongue] 

• Curly : [getting punched repeatedly]  Wait a minute! This is gettin' monotonous!

  Crook : Oh, monotonous, eh?

  Curly : [getting punched in the stomach]  Ooh! Ooh! That's different.

  [flexing his left bicep] 

  Curly : You see that?

  Crook : Yeah.

  [Curly punches the crook with a sharp right-hand uppercut] 

• Larry : That Dill sure had to cheapen the pickle.

  Curly : I'd like to get that ape-man by the throat. I'd tear his ears off, I'd...

  [pantomiming an eye-poking] 

  Curly : ...gouge his eyes out.

  Moe : Shut up, Tarzan. You're all wet.

  Curly : [waving him off]  Mmm!

  [he puts on his hat, unaware of a glass of water inside, which spills all over him] 

  Curly : How did you know?

• Police Detective : The inspector wants to see you down at headquarters.

  Moe , Larry , Curly : [pointing at each other]  I didn't do it, he did it.

  Larry : I saw him.

  Curly : I'll be a witness. He had the money right in his hand.

  Police Detective : Relax, you're not under arrest. The inspector has accepted your applications.

  Larry : You mean we're gonna be on the police force?

  Moe : Oh, boy. Free apples.

  Curly : I'll be a manhunter! A bloodhound!

  [he barks like a dog] 

• Curly : A woman, she screamed. She clawed me on the leg.

  Larry : Is that bad?

  Moe : Is she pretty? I mean, where is she? Come on, show her to us. Come on.

  [Curly starts heading in the opposite direction] 

  Moe : [whistling at him]  Where you going? Come on.

  Curly : Oh, do I have to?

• Larry : What happened? What's wrong?

  Curly : I'm dyin' and you start a quiz program!