Stalag 17 (1953)
Robert Strauss: Sgt. Stanislaus 'Animal' Kuzawa
Photos
Quotes
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Sefton : I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy.
Hoffy : What's the decoy?
Sefton : Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that water tank. And then you throw Price out onto the compound, nice and loud. He'll draw every light from every goon tower. It's our only chance to cut through. Well, what do you say, barracks chief?
Bagradian : He's right, Hoffy. It's either Price or Dunbar.
Animal : He killed Johnson and Manfredi, didn't he?
Hoffy : It's all yours.
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Sgt. Schulz : We will grab some shovels and we will undig that tunnel which you digged.
Animal : Shulz, why don't we just plug up the tunnel with the Commandant in one end, and you in the other?
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Hoffy : They ought to be under the barbed wire soon.
Shapiro : Looks good outside.
Animal : I hope they hit the Danube before dawn.
Price : They've got a good chance. The longest night of the year.
Duke : I'll bet they make it to Friedrichshaven.
Animal : I bet they make it all the way to Switzerland.
Sefton : And I bet they don't get out of the forest.
Duke : Now what kind of crack is that?
Sefton : No crack. Two packs of cigarettes say they don't get out of the forest.
Hoffy : That's enough, Sefton. Crawl back in your sack.
Shapiro : He'd make book on his own mother getting hit by a truck.
Sefton : Anybody call?
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[Shapiro received 7 letters at mail call]
Animal : What do all those broads say?
Shapiro : What do they always say?
Animal : Lemme read one.
Shapiro : It's not good for you, Animal.
Animal : Hey, this is with a typewriter... it's from a finance company.
Shapiro : So it's from the finance company. So, it's better than no letter at all. So they want the third payment on the Plymouth.
[dropping each letter on the floor in turn]
Shapiro : So they want the fourth... the fifth... the sixth... the seventh... So they want the Plymouth.
Animal : Sugar Lips Shapiro. Amazing, ain't it?
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[the new arrival does impressions of movie stars]
Animal : Hey... do Grable.
Bagradian : Now see here, Scarlett... I'm crazy about you and always have been. I gave you kisses for breakfast, kisses for lunch, and kisses for supper... and now I find that you're eating out.
Animal : Not Gable - GRABLE.
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Animal : [watching Sefton cook an egg] Are you gonna eat it all by yourself?
Sefton : Mm-hmm. The yellow and the white.
Animal : Is it all right if we smell it?
Sefton : Just don't drool on it.
Shapiro : You're not gonna eat the shells?
Sefton : Help yourself.
Animal : [Harry gives him half the shell] Hey, thanks. What are we gonna do with it?
Shapiro : We're gonna plant it, Animal. We're gonna grow us a chicken for Christmas.
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Duke : Come on, Trader Horn, let's hear it. What'd you give the krauts for that egg?
Sefton : 45 cigarettes. Price has gone up.
Duke : They wouldn't be the cigarettes you took us for last night?
Sefton : What was I gonna do with them? I only smoke cigars.
Duke : Niiice guy. The krauts shoot Manfredi and Johnson last night, and today he's out trading with them.
Sefton : Look. This may be my last hot breakfast on account of they're going to take that stove out of here, so would you let me eat it in peace?
Animal : Now ain't that too bad? Tomorrow you'll have to suck a raw egg.
Shapiro : Oh, he don't have to worry. He can always trade the krauts for a six-burner gas range. Maybe a deep freeze, too.
Sefton : What's the beef, boys? So I'm trading. Everybody here is trading. So maybe I trade a little sharper. That make me a collaborator?
Duke : A lot sharper, Sefton. I'd like to have some of that loot you got in those footlockers.
Sefton : Oh you would, would you? Listen, stupe. The first week I was in this joint, somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket, and my left shoe. Well, since then I've wised up. This ain't no Salvation Army - this is everybody for himself, dog eat dog.
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Marko the Mailman : Today's camp news. Father Murray announces that due to local regulations, the Christmas midnight mass will be held at 7:00 in the morning. He also says, quote, "All you sack rats better show up for services, and no bull from anybody." Unquote.
[muttering]
Marko the Mailman : At ease.
Animal : At ease!
Marko the Mailman : Next. Monday afternoon, a sailboat race will be held at the cesspool. See Oscar Rudolph of barracks 7 if you wish to enter a yacht.
[laughter and boos]
Marko the Mailman : All right, at ease.
Animal : At ease!
Marko the Mailman : Next. Jack Cushingham and Larry Blake will play Frank de Notta and Mike Cohen for the pinochle championship of the camp.
Shapiro : That's a fix.
Marko the Mailman : [mutters of agreement] All right, at ease.
Animal : At ease!
Marko the Mailman : Next. Tuesday afternoon at 2:00, all men from Texas will meet behind the north latrine.
[laughter and boos]
Marko the Mailman : All right, at ease.
Animal : At ease!
Marko the Mailman : Next. A warning from the kommandant.
[boos]
Marko the Mailman : Anybody found throwing rocks at low-flying German aircraft will be thrown in the boob.
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Animal : [just missing chow time] Do you have to put your socks in my breakfast?
Triz' Trzcinski : Tough luck.
Animal : I hate this life!
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Sgt. Schulz : Well, well, gentlemen, am I interrupting something?
Hoffy : Yeah, Schulz, we were just passin' out guns.
Sgt. Schulz : Guns?
[realizing he's kidding]
Sgt. Schulz : Ah, you're joking. Always with the visecrackers.
Shapiro : Visecrackers. Where did he pick up his English, in a pretzel factory?
Sgt. Schulz : You always think I'm a square. I've been to America. I've been wrestling there. I wrestled in Milwaukee and St. Louis, in Cincinnati, and I will go back. The way the war is going, I will be there before you.
Shapiro : You should live so long.
Sgt. Schulz : [sharing a laugh, then stopping] Here. That's me in Cincinnati.
Animal : [taking a picture] Who's the other wrestler? The one with the mustache?
Sgt. Schulz : That's my wife.
Animal : Hey, look at all that meat. Ain't she the bitter end?
Sgt. Schulz : [taking the picture back] Oh, give it back. You must not arouse yourself.
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Animal : It ain't fair, Harry. I'm telling you, it ain't fair. My Betty. Ain't she beautiful? She married an orchestra leader.
Shapiro : So what? There's other women.
Animal : Not for me.
[kissing the picture]
Animal : Betty. Betty.
Shapiro : Forget Betty, Animal. I'll get you a date with some of those Russian women.
Animal : You'll get me a date?
Shapiro : Sure. I'll get you into the Russian compound.
Animal : How? Pinky Miller from barracks 8 tried getting over there and they shot him in the leg.
Shapiro : It... it takes a gimmick, Animal. I figured us a little gimmick.
Animal : You did?
Shapiro : [pointing to his temple, indicating his brain] Sharp. Sometimes I'm so sharp, it's frightening.
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Hoffy : I called a meeting of the barracks chiefs this morning, Sefton. I thought maybe I could get you transferred to another barracks. But it turns out that nobody likes you any more than we do.
Sefton : So you're stuck with me, huh?
Animal : Maybe the Russian broads would take him.
Shapiro : Not with that kisser. Not anymore.
Duke : You got off lucky last night, Sefton. One more move, and you'll wake up with your throat cut!
Price : You listening, Sefton?
Sefton : Yeah, I still got one good ear.
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Shapiro : Good morning, Animal. What would you like for breakfast? Scrambled eggs with little sausages? Bacon and eggs sunny-side up. Griddle cakes. A waffle.
Animal : Stop it, Harry. I'm warnin' you.
Shapiro : Coffee, milk, or maybe a little cocoa.
Animal : Why do you do this to me every morning?
Shapiro : Hamburgers and onions, strawberry shortcake, gefilte fish, chopped liver...
Animal : [grabbing his scarf like a garrotte] I'll kill you, Harry, so help me.
Shapiro : ...chicken a la king. Let go, Animal, it's roll call!
[getting Animal to release him]
Shapiro : Hitler is waitin' to see us.
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Animal : As long as you're gonna move somebody in, how about a couple of them Russian broads?
Sgt. Schulz : Russian women prisoners?
Shapiro : Jawohl.
Sgt. Schulz : Some are not bad at all.
Animal : Ja. Just get us a couple with beautiful glockenspiels.
Sgt. Schulz : [sharing a roar of laughter, then stopping] Droppen sie dead!
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Harry Shapiro : [after a shot of schnapps Sefton brewed] Mr. Management, what are you tryin' to do? Embalm us while we're still alive?
Sefton : What'd you expect for two cigarettes? Eight-year-old bottle-in-bond? All the house guarantees is you don't go blind.
Animal : Blind? Harry! Harry! Harry, I'm blind, Harry. Harry, where are you? I can't see you. I'm blind, Harry. Harry. Harry, I'm blind.
Harry Shapiro : Blind? How stupid can you get, Animal?
[he raises takes Animal's hat, which has been covering his eyes]
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Sefton : Lieutenant Dunbar?
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar : Yeah.
Sefton : It wouldn't be James Skylar Dunbar from Boston?
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar : Yes, it sure would. Do we know each other?
Animal : Oh, he's from Boston, too, but you wouldn't know him. Not unless you had your house robbed.
Sefton : Maybe he would. We were gonna be officers together, remember? Only they washed me out. Glad to see you made it. Of course, it couldn't be that all of that dough behind you had something to do with it. His mother's got $20 million.
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar : 25.
Sefton : They've got a summer home in Nantucket with an upstairs polo field. Better put a canopy over his bunk.
Hoffy : Lay off, Sefton.
Sefton : Say, with all your mother's pull, how come you're not a chicken colonel by now?
Hoffy : Lay off, I said, unless you want your head handed to you.
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Animal : Did you have a good time over there?
Sefton : Oh. Somebody was peeking. Yeah, had a dreamy time. Those dames, they really know how to throw a party. I've known some women in my time, but between you and me, there's just nothing like the hot breath of the Cossacks. There are a couple of blonde snipers over there. Real man-killers. They...
[seeing his foot locker open]
Sefton : What's this? What happened, Cookie? Who did it?
Hoffy : We did it.
Sefton : There better not be anything missing. This is private property.
Price : So was the radio private property. So were Manfredi and Johnson.
Sefton : What about the radio?
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Animal : [opening Sefton's foot locker] Of all the hoarding cruds.
Hoffy : It looks like Macy's basement, don't it?
Lt. James Skylar Dunbar : That kid's richer than my mother.
Shapiro : [as he picks up a cuckoo clock, the bird pops out and "chirps"] Ah, shut up!
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Duke : How come the Krauts knew about that stove, Security? And the tunnel? How come you can't lay down a belch around here without them knowin' it?
Price : Look, if you don't like the way I'm handling this job, go get yourself...
Hoffy : Kill it, Duke. It's got us all spinnin'.
Duke : I just wanna know what makes them Krauts so smart.
Animal : Maybe they do it with radar. Maybe they got a mic hidden somewhere.
Shapiro : Yeah. Right up Joey's ocarina.
Duke : Or maybe it's not that they're so smart. Maybe it's that we're sto stupid. Maybe there's somebody in our barracks tipping 'em off, like one of us!
Sefton : You don't say.
Duke : Yes, I do say! One of us is a stoolie. A dirty, stinking stoolie!
Sefton : Is that Einstein's theory or did you figure it out for yourself?
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Animal : [finding a pair of pantyhose in Sefton's foot locker] For crying out loud. What would he be doing with these?
Duke : Suppose you ask me. Go on, ask me. Because I got the goods on Mr. Sefton. Because this time, he didn't shake me.
[setting up the telescope at the window]
Duke : Take a look for yourself. It'll curdle your guts.
Animal : [realizing] The Russian women!
Hoffy : [ushering him out of the way] Get away.
Duke : Here, try the end window, where the candy is.
Shapiro : Come on, Hoffy, we all want to see.
Hoffy : How'd he get over there?
Duke : Easy. Walked right through the gate, past the guard, like he was some Kraut field marshal.
Hoffy : Now we know what he got for the radio.
