Ed Wood (1994)
Martin Landau: Bela Lugosi
Photos
Quotes
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Bela Lugosi : Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
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Conrad Brooks : Mr. Lugosi? I know you're very busy, but, um... can I have your autograph?
Bela Lugosi : Certainly.
Conrad Brooks : You know which movie of yours I love, Mr. Lugosi? The Invisible Ray. You were great as Karloff's sidekick.
Bela Lugosi : Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff does not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What happened?
Bela Lugosi : How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting!
[mocks Frankenstein]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi : Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?
Bela Lugosi : Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!
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Bela Lugosi : This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.
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Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What are you drinking, Bela?
Bela Lugosi : Formaldehyde
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Straight up or on the rocks?
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[Stepping into water]
Bela Lugosi : GODDAMN, it's cold!
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : It'll warm up once you're in it.
Bela Lugosi : FUCK YOU! You come out here!
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[on the phone to Bunny]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.
Bela Lugosi : Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?
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[on the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)']
Bela Lugosi : They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes.
Bela Lugosi : And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : The women? Huh?
Bela Lugosi : The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, I never thought of that.
Bela Lugosi : Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".
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[Bela Lugosi casts a love spell on Vampira who is on TV while moving his fingers like Dracula]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi : You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
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Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?
Bela Lugosi : I have no next picture.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined up!
Bela Lugosi : Back in the old days, yes... Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : But you're a big star!
Bela Lugosi : No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out.
[pauses]
Bela Lugosi : I'm just an ex-boogeyman.
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Bela Lugosi : I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.
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Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie.
Bela Lugosi : Thank you.
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Bela Lugosi : Pull the string! Pull the string!
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[while he and the others flee the chaotic premiere of "Bride of the Monster" in a cab]
Bela Lugosi : Now that was a premiere.
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Criswell : Bela, would you like a wine?
Bela Lugosi : No. I never drink... wine.
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Bela Lugosi : They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today it's all giant bugs. Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers... Who would believe such nonsense?
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[Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume]
Children : Trick or treat!
[At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away]
Bela Lugosi : Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood!
Trick-or-Treating Kid : You're not a real vampire. Those teeth don't frighten me.
[Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : How 'bout these?
[Pulls out his entire row of front teeth]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [Little boy screams and runs away]
Bela Lugosi : Hey... How d'you do that?
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Dentures!
[Holds them up]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Lost my pearlies in the war!
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Bela Lugosi : [pointing to a Tesla Coil on the set of "Bride of the Atom"] I'm not getting near that goddamn thing. One of them burned me in "The Return of Chandu".
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Bela Lugosi : [about to start filming at night] "All right, lets shoot this fucker!"
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Bela Lugosi : [watching Vampira on TV] I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs.
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Nurse : Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela Lugosi : My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse : For what reason?
Bela Lugosi : I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!
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[Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night]
Bela Lugosi : Children! I love children.
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[Finds Bela ailing]
Bela Lugosi : This happens all the time.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Is there anything I can get for you? Water or a blanket?
Bela Lugosi : Goulash.
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know how to make goulash.
[See the track marks on Bela's arm]
Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, what's in the needle?
Bela Lugosi : Morphine. With a demerol chaser.
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Bela Lugosi : Beware. Beware. Beware of the big, green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy dog tails and big, fat snails. Beware. Take care. Beware.
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Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Mr. Lugosi, why are you buying a coffin?
Bela Lugosi : I'm planning on dying soon.
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Bela Lugosi : Eddie, last night was quite a romp. Did you see that kid grab Vampira's boobies?
[chuckles]
Bela Lugosi : I envied him.
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Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, those people are parasites, they just wanna exploit you.
Bela Lugosi : Fine. Let them. There is no such thing as bad press, Eddie.