(1983)

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8/10
Not a bad film...
rebelproud197026 June 2012
This films stars Annette Haven as a singer named Shirley, who hires a private eye to find a lost porn film she made years before to save her music career... That is pretty much the plot of the film...

And, it is not a bad film at all... actually pretty funny in some parts... Annette plays her part well, and even sings two songs... The sex is pretty tame by todays standards... Annette has three scenes and two are pretty good... the third was kinda weird, even for her... All in all, a pretty good film with some pretty decent music for a porn film...

I liked it...
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Annette in goofy Euro porn
lor_3 May 2024
I am fascinated about how European porngraphers in the VHS era often used American talent -flown over to appear in mainly slapdash Italian, French or German features, as well as American porn features shot in Europe. This predates that trend, a theatrical movie shot in Holland, with fake credits to hide that fact.

It's nonsensical on purpose, satirizing all sorts of things while including many crude XXX scenes. Haven's beauty shines through, but the vast quantiy of silly filler sinks the movie entirely.

She plays a singer whose stage persona is that of an underage teen, on stage with her little teddy bear, singing infantile bubblegum rock music. Authentic recording studio footage is quite realistic, establishing that Annette really sings, and here director Willem van Batenburg can't resist tossing in some satire. In one session, Annette's mean manager is on the phone, not paying attention to her singing her heart out, and in another scene the engineer in the booth is mainly drinking and snorting cocaine on the job.

The central premise is that Annette shot a porn movie when she was young, and needs to find it to suppress it, as its dissemination would kill off her hit career as a cute and innocent singer. I watched the movie with its Anglicized opening credits, yet when the porn movie she shot was shown I thought the male star looked like Willem Dafoe; oddly enough I was in the right ballpark, as the Dutch personnel turns out to be led by a director named Willem!

She hires Abel Caine (a truly untalented performer with zero cane) as a private eye to find that movie, and Abel dominates the rest of the movie in his trenchcoat bumbling along in hot pursuit of the pron artifact.

He locates the clown who shot it, and is told he hid the can of film in the mattress of a hotel. The hotel owners are uncooperative, so Abel has to do weird things to search all the rooms and mattresses.

Some scenes have direct sound English but most are crudely dubbed/synced. In a bunker nearby that seems left over from World War II is another makeshift music studio where a rock band imitating '70s Lou Reed has sex with Annette in her second role satirizing the stereotype of a New Age tantric sex guru wearing a fake black wig. She was a good sport making this movie and making love to amateur talent, but watching it is a chore.
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