(1988 Video)

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Dim-witted Sarno porn, for folks who enjoy Ron Jeremy hamminess
lor_8 March 2011
Heather Hunter gets the billing but Ron Jeremy gets the last word in HEATHER HUNTER ON FIRE, a misnomer of a porn video. Joe Sarno directed it haphazardly on the cheap, using "Irving Weiss" as his pseudonym.

Hunter is Janet Collins, modeling for untalented artist Jack Kaplan (Ron Jeremy) whose studio is one of the crappiest looking sets imaginable -its floor doesn't even look finished. Oh well, Jerry Lewis had the same "fake floor" on view in his rather embarrassing late-career opus CRACKING UP, another example of an artist in decline.

The other cheapo set is a two-room office and "bedroom" for art dealer Steve Walker (Michael Knight). I knew I was in deep trouble when Greta (Lynn Lemay) and Betty Fletcher (Busty Bell) march into his office and just stand there endlessly -nobody can remember a line. The show must go on, and instead of yelling cut Sarno just lets the video camera roll.

Instant aphrodisiacs are a crutch in many Sarno videos, and here it is the notion that staring at a Kaplan painting causes women to become uncontrollably horny. The paintings themselves are crude beyond belief, as slipshod as the rest of the production.

Various boring sex scenes mixing and matching the cast members end up with a "comedy" finale of Kaplan trying to both paint and function in a threesome simultaneously. Watching Ron run back and forth from his canvas to his mattress while whomping Lemay is flop sweat at its crummiest.

Bell is a treat, flashing her massive breasts, but like Hunter seems terribly bored. Lemay takes sexual honors, trying harder than her costars and looking good in fancy lingerie.

Seymour Love, also credited as producer, has a non-sex role as Butch, a guy cracking jokes with Knight. With only two male sex performers in the cast, Knight and Jeremy really have to earn their keep, ejaculation-wise.
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