Top-rated
Mon, Feb 2, 2004
Brian is the high-school basketball team's statistician and looks like he's friends with them. While picking up the team who are quite drunk, Bill finds out that they call Brian "Jeeves", short for "Jeeves Our Helper Monkey" and made him their errand boy and chauffeur. Bill angrily lets all the players' parents know that they're drunk. While talking to Brian, Bill and Judy learn that being named "Jeeves" is no big deal and that being an errand boy has its perks. But now they've changed the nickname to "Narc" and he's no longer the statistician but demoted to the team mascot, "Coogie." Bill talks to the team and takes responsibility for getting them into trouble with their parents and says that Brian wants to be statistician again. He also suggests that Brian and the family van can help the team prank their rival, Hancock Magnet School. Then Bill tells the coach about the prank and gets the team into more trouble and they nickname Bill "Suck" and keep calling Brian "Narc." The next day, Bill and Judy get a call from the coach, accusing Brian of pulling the prank against Hancock. Meanwhile, Linda dumps "needy" boyfriend Pete and pawns him off on one of her co-workers, then gets jealous when things go well between the new couple.
Mon, Feb 23, 2004
Much to Bill's delight, his mother Louise has a new man in her life - Johnny. Bill's happy since he doesn't have to drive Louise on errands or take her shopping anymore and can be at home relaxing on "Couchy" (the family's couch: his words). After Bill and Judy meet him at a Chinese restaurant and later for dessert at their place, Judy isn't sure about him, thinking Johnny may have grabbed her butt. Unsure if she should tell Bill and Louise, she confides in Linda. Bill eventually finds about this. Judy decides that, since everyone will be at her and Bill's house for Louise's birthday, she will make herself very tempting for Johnny to want to do it again by wearing her best pants that will show her butt off, with Linda ready to witness it. Meanwhile, Brian and Tina are wrapping their grandmother's gift, leaving Lauren in a bind. She didn't get her "Nanna" a gift, so she declares she'll come up with a poem "from her heart" (she says) by that evening.
Mon, Mar 1, 2004
It's St Patrick's Day and the Miller family will be participating in the parade. Brian,along with Donald and Hakim, are designing and building a float. While working on the float to Bill's dismay, since Bill wishes Brian was more like Fitz's son Scotty, who's the captain of the high school baseball team. When Hakim has to go home and Donald has to take him, Judy suggests to Bill that he should help Brian out and be more involved in his life and interests. Bill decides to get out of it by having Scotty help instead. While helping out, Brian discovers that Scotty is gay, after he asked him out on a boy on boy date. He tells it to Bill and Judy: Bill is trying to figure out how to tell Fitz and Judy objects, since she feels that Scotty needs to tell his Father. Judy, thinking Bill told Fitz about Scotty when he paid an impromptu visit, actually blurts it out instead. It turns out Fitz already knew and he's accepted the fact his son is gay. Bill sees this a "wake up call" to be part of Brian's life, decides to help him out, but he ends up making matters worse when he makes some changes to the float and it's damaged. In the end, Bill and Brian together find a way to fix the problem, doing it Brian's way. Meanwhile Lauren and Judy are participating in the parade doing Irish step dancing. Judy is dancing horribly and Lauren has to break the bad news to her Mom. Lauren tries to have someone else tell her, but they refuse. Lauren finally blurts it out to Judy that she's a horrible dancer and Judy is puzzled, when in the past she's been one of the best out on the dance floor. Eventually, Linda and Judy find out why. In addition, Tina has a cold and she loves the cold medicine she's given.
Mon, Mar 22, 2004
Brian is in a panic because the PSATs are coming soon and when he did a practice test, Hakim did better. He wants to get a tutor, but his parents can't afford one. Judy suggests that he should get a job to pay for it and work at Bill's job at Berensen's. While working there, Brian is assigned to clean the stockroom and he gets that done quickly and with efficiency. This upsets "Mack" and "Fitz", because what he did, might make them work harder. Brian is constantly worrying about doing a good job and about the PSATs, so Bill convinces and teaches Brian to relax and stop worrying about things. Brian starts to relax, but he problem is he's too relaxed now and is considering skipping the PSATs. Judy is upset with Bill because he has Brian becoming lazy and if he skips the PSATs, he will regret it. Bill tells Brian that if he has an opportunity to better himself, he should take it. Brian points out that there is an announcement on the bulletin board in the stockroom for a management test they used as a hockey puck and why isn't he trying out for it. We find out that Bill has no desire to take the test, because the promotion means more stress, work for just a little more money and the test will be next week. Judy says she will help Bill study for the test, plus he needs to take it to set a good example to Brian and of all the kids, he will be the successful one, which Lauren and Tina hear it and Lauren, more than Tina is insulted. When Bill and Judy are going through Bill's employee handbook to study, they find it boring and are easily distracted. Bill starts to study on his own and Brian decides what to do with the PSAT test. Meanwhile, Linda has a new boyfriend, Kevin, but he has his son Jordan with him, so she recruits Lauren to accompany them, so they can double date.
Mon, Apr 19, 2004
Boyfriend issues lead to man issues. Linda attends AA meetings just to be near Danny W, her latest interest, while Lauren plays basketball to be with Robbie, a boy who accuses her of cheating when she regularly bests him on the court. Judy, having just given the family car an oil change, explains that men don't like women who can do everything better - unlike Bill. At hearing this, Bill explains that he "gives" Judy some of the "lesser" man duties. Even so, Bill feels the need to prove his manliness for a change and answers Tina's call to kill a spider in her room. He goes after it demolishing Tina's doll house in the process. He says he'll fix it himself, but winds up having trouble and enlisting Brian's aid. Even so, he eventually gives up and heads to Tiny Town with Brian to shop for a new doll house, only to find that Judy'd been there and already purchased an exact replica from the store. Bill defiantly turns back to repairing the doll house. Seeing Lauren let Robbie beat her at basketball and Robbie become a swelled-headed jerk about it, Bill warmly tells her to be herself from now on and beat him. She agrees, since it's more work pretending to be less capable.
Wed, May 5, 2004
Ted and Kathy Halverson have turned their basement into what he refers to as "Teen Scene," where the kids can hang out and play games. To respect the kids' privacy, they have installed what they call a Parent Bell, where they ring it and shout "parent on deck" whenever they enter. Lauren likes it because Kathy makes great snacks, listens and offers great advice. Judy says she wants to do this as well, because she wants Lauren to come to her for advice. She and Bill set up the garage as a hangout house. Once the kids are hanging out at the Millers, Ted is jealous that they're not at his place, so he installs a foosball table, a bumper pool table, a cotton candy machine and a sundae bar. In no time the kids are back. This now becomes a case of one-upmanship, as Judy decides to get a trampoline, which turns out to be a mistake. The Millers to put an end to the hangout house and let Ted have his "Teen Scene" back.
Top-rated
Mon, May 24, 2004
Brian is selected to participate in the accelerated math program at Norhwestern University. In addition, he starts playing drums in a band at the student union with some others in his college class. Judy gets upset and worried when Brian starts coming home each night past his curfew and scolds him, using many of the parental clichés everyone has heard. When Judy grounds Brian, he becomes very defiant. Bill talks to Brian while Brian is in the garage unpacking his drums, telling Brian another parental cliché - "my house my rules." Consequently, Brian moves into the garage so he can live by his own rules. He proves himself very capable at independent living, but later, when fired by his fellow band members, he asks Bill if he can move back into the house. Elsewhere in the family, Tina is a Bluebell Girl but not much interested in it. Linda, however, wants to live the Bluebell experience through her because, when she was a girl, Judy got to be a Bluebell Girl but quit and their mom, thereafter, wouldn't allow Linda to join. Also, we hear Lauren singing. She sings well but no one in the family hears her talent - just her snoring when she's asleep.
Mon, Sep 27, 2004
Bill and Judy's neighbor Ed Bailey moves to Hawaii and they get new neighbors. Bill goes to make friends with them and learns that their new neighbors are a lesbian couple, Shelly and Terry, with a son, Chris, who goes to same school with Brian. Bill then gets Brian to tell Chris who's who in their school. Chris is immediately attracted to Lauren. Ed Bailey wouldn't sign a waiver to let Bill build a deck right next to his property, but Shelly and Terry say it's fine by them. Bill builds his deck. However, when Linda hears that the agreement is not in writing, she tells there is a danger that some day there might be a disagreement with the neighbors and should that happen, Shelly and Terry could legally enforce Bill to tear down the deck. So, in order to remain on good terms with them, Bill orders Lauren to go on a date with Chris.
Top-rated
Mon, Oct 4, 2004
Linda's cat actually kills itself accidentally. Judy consoles her and they have the wake at their house. Lauren and Brian are reluctant to take part in the whole funeral thing and Judy has to order them to participate. When Bill is momentarily left alone with Judy he starts to make jokes about the cat's death and after a few Judy comes up with one too. Unfortunately Linda overhears them and is offended. Bill and Judy then have to come up with a suitable apology. Unfortunately Judy only comes up with the suggestion that Linda should have a relationship with a man instead of a cat.
Mon, Oct 11, 2004
Linda is choosing wedding invitations with Perry. This leaves Judy without company. Judy tries to make new friends in the park without coming across as a freak. When that fails, he tries to get Lauren and Fitz to hang around with her. Bill and Judy question Brian about his savings that have disappeared. Brian confesses that he is now playing a trading card game called Wizards: The Beckoning (a spoof of Magic: The Gathering), and bought cards that cost $200 - "But by now my collection has to be worth at least a thousand dollars", he claims. When Bill realizes that Brian has won $800, he and Judy try to make Brian sell his collection of cards before they lose their value. Bill attends one of Brian's game tournaments where he is known as Miller the Merciless. Lord Hades taunts him and suddenly Bill does not want Brian to sell his cards - he wants him to beat the other players.
Mon, Oct 18, 2004
When an after school program is cancelled, the kids' parents decide to have a meeting to determine how they can raise money to reinstate the program. They decide a silent auction offering items donated by the parents will be a good way to raise money. Everyone seems to have good items to offer, but Bill and Judy have nothing. They decide to offer a beef dinner for 2, followed by a tooth cleaning by Judy. No one bids on it, while the other items all have been bid on. Judy and Bill figure out that the reason people want the after school program to continue is to be able to get rid of their children for a couple of hours. At the last minute they change their donation item to an arts and crafts party for the 10 highest bidders. The parents rush the table and their item is a success, beating out the Halversons. The Halversons congratulate them and then suggest they will help with Bill and Judy with the party if they accept 20 highest bids. They all agree. A few days before the party, the Halversons call Judy and tell her they can't help with the party, since they have a sick aunt out of town and must go help her. The party goes on as planned and Judy and Bill are overwhelmed with children running everywhere and problems occurring. Bill returns from the store with some items for the party and tells Judy there are dozens of cars parked at the Halversons and they are having a party, apparently laughing at pulling a fast one on Bill and Judy, who then round up the children and bring eggs and toilet paper to "decorate" the Halversons house. Inside the Halversons are having a memorial for their aunt who died. As eggs hit the windows and toilet paper is streaming everywhere, the Halversons open the door and confront the Millers, who are then embarrassed about the huge mistake they made. A police siren can be heard in the distance and the Millers and kids scatter.
Mon, Oct 25, 2004
After Judy screams at the entire family because of a dirty roasting pan she intentionally left on the kitchen table (it's become a a week). She wanted to see if it would be cleaned by someone other than her. She says she does all of the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Bill starts cooking secretly after he's been watching a late night cable cooking show, "Debbie Does Dinner"; Thing is, he's good at it but he doesn't want the entire family to know, since he would have to do all the cooking duties. Eventually, when he's found out, he takes over all the cooking to Judy's delight, since she doesn't have to do it and the family has been eating well. With Bill's cooking, there's a problem; When Bill starts putting on an apron, Judy is turned off, because when she sees Bill, she sees Mrs Doubtfire and she feels, that he's becoming less of a man. Now Judy is torn between his great cooking and her perception of his less manliness.
Mon, Nov 8, 2004
Judy gets alarming news from her doctor and gets the impulse to write a heartfelt farewell letter to Bill, just in case should the worst happen. She asks Bill to do the same, but he doesn't quite have the talent as a wordsmith so he has to seek alternative options of coming up with the letter...
Mon, Nov 22, 2004
Brian is dating the school wallflower Brenda, but is also interested in the hot Kaitlin. Bill tells him how to "pull a Murphy": he used to date the school wallflower, which made him seem sensitive, and therefore interesting, in the eyes of the hot "school slut". Bill then broke up with the wallflower and got together with the "slut". Brian has a problem: his conscience does not allow him to pull a Murphy on Brenda. To his surprise, a solution presents itself, when Brian learns that Kaitlin would like a boyfriend like him AND he has to break up with Brenda because she is moving away - a "perfect Murphy", in Bill's words. But the surprise is not the last one...
Mon, Dec 13, 2004
Bill learns. to his disappointment, that Brian is a vice president of the school kite club. Bill also notices that Lauren's friend Chris is hanging around in their living room a lot. On Lauren's request, he retreats to upstairs. When Bill comes down for a snack after midnight, he catches Chris sneaking out and flips out even though Chris claims that he did "nothing" with Lauren. Judy arrives to calm Bill down and has a discussion with him. She trusts Lauren and Chris, but Bill claims that Chris's lesbian mothers have an undesirable influence on him. So they visit their neighbors in order to get them to help keep an eye on Chris, but they have an unwavering trust on their boy. Judy then suggests that Bill try to bond with Chris and earn his respect, which would make him respect Lauren as well. But how to bond?